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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417651">For You, It’s Just Zuko</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Id_flyifihad_wings/pseuds/Id_flyifihad_wings'>Id_flyifihad_wings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fallen Flame Rising [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Bending (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Canon Divergence, Communication Failure, Confessing Through Letter, Episode: s03e21 Sozin's Comet Part 4 Avatar Aang, Feelings Realization, How to do feelings, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh (Avatar) loves Tea, Lightningbending &amp; Lightningbenders (Avatar), Love Confessions, Love Notes, M/M, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Possible smut, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s03e18-21 Sozin's Comet, Rating May Change, Slow To Update, Surviving Lightning, Tea, Turtleduck Pond, Turtleduck(s), Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko is bad at feelings, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), disaster bisexuals, feelings are hard, partially blind Zuko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:42:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Id_flyifihad_wings/pseuds/Id_flyifihad_wings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko quickly realizes just how difficult feelings are when he discovers his own. Especially considering the only feeling that was ever reward in the Fire Nation was anger. </p><p>Thankfully, Iroh is there to give him sound advice and a cup of tea when necessary. The only downside? Now Zuko has to deal with his uncle knowing the truth about Zuko’s damn feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fallen Flame Rising [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Turtleducks Like to Watch us Speak Sometimes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Back at it again with the Zukka! </p><p>Y’all I love the dynamic between these two dumbasses and wanted to write for them so here I am. This one is (obviously) multi chapter but I have no idea if I’ll be able to update this regularly. Especially considering I’m still working on Sakura Summer </p><p>Anyway! I hope you guys all enjoy this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Iroh awoke and stretched his arms high above his head, Zuko could sense that his uncle knew of his presence. As he finished yawning, he looked back at him over his shoulder, saddened. </p><p>Zuko clenched his jaw and spoke. “Uncle, I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me,” he began. His heart was hammering, so damn afraid of what Iroh might do to him. “But I want you to know I am so, so sorry, uncle.” His voice broke and he couldn’t stop the tears that fell from his eyes. He was terrified and he wasn’t that great with emotions.</p><p>Zuko looked at the back of Iroh’s head and practically drooped. “I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did,” he forced himself to say the words despite his throat closing around them. His lip trembled as more tears streamed down his face. </p><p>It was too much to bare. He dropped his head into his shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, but I -“ his voice rose with emotion as he looked up in time to see Iroh reaching for him. His uncle latched onto his shirt and tugged him so ferociously into a hug that Zuko collapsed into him. </p><p>Zuko clung to him with quaking hands as Iroh buried his head into his nephew’s shoulder. “How can you forgive me so easily?” asked Zuko in disbelief, his heart stuttering to a halt from both fear and relief. “I thought you would be furious with me.” It was so unlike the reaction he was used to. Where was the raised voice and the fire and agony that came with it?</p><p>“I was never angry with you,” Iroh soothed. “I was sad, because I was afraid you’d lost your way,” he admitted, moving his hand to cradle the back of Zuko’s head. </p><p>“I did lose my way,” Zuko told him. </p><p>Iroh slid his hands down to Zuko’s arms and gently pushed him back to look him over. “But you’ve found it again...” he claimed with pride in his voice. He waited until Zuko lifted his eyes to look at him. “...and you did it by yourself, and I am so happy you found your way here,” he said, eyes brimming with overjoyed tears. He kept his hands firmly on Zuko’s shoulders as he spoke.</p><p>Zuko couldn’t hide the small smile, even as he dropped his head again. He was pulled into another comforting hug that made his eyes wet again. “It wasn’t that hard, uncle. You have a pretty strong scent,” he joked as he raised his arms to encircle Iroh once more. </p><p>Iroh gave him a few pats on the back as he chuckled. “So tell me, nephew, how did you find your way here?” </p><p>Zuko shifted away to cross his legs and sighed. “It’s a very long story, uncle.”</p><p>Iroh turned to the little table in his tent and  started making a pot of tea. “We have plenty of time, Zuko. And we can discuss it over a nice, calming cup of jasmine tea,” he said. As he spoke, his palm lit up with a small flame that he used to boil the water.</p><p>Zuko turned his head to take in everything inside the small but roomy tent. “After everything you told me about Sozin and Avatar Roku... I realized what I needed to do,” he started. </p><p>Iroh simply nodded and continued on his steadfast work on the tea. </p><p>“When the invasion started on the Day of Black Sun, I went to find my father,” Zuko told him. He was shocked when Iroh just hummed an affirmation that he was still listening. Zuko had expected more - surprise at the least. “He was surrounded by his guards but when I came in he sent them away.”</p><p>“Sounds dangerous,” Iroh commented idly. </p><p>Zuko felt shame flood him. “You could at least act surprised, uncle,” he shot back, because anger was the only thing he was any good at showing.</p><p>Iroh finally looked up at him and dipped his head with a long exhale. “Zuko, I am surprised. And very proud that you confronted Firelord Ozai, but I want you to tell your story. Without my interference.”</p><p>Zuko scowled but dropped his head. It made sense, for once. Iroh didn’t want him to be influenced by his reactions. He wiped his sweating palms down his pants and went on. “I told him the truth about Ba Sing Se. That it was Azula that took down the Avatar, and that he was still alive.”</p><p>Iroh finished the tea and took out two cups to serve it in. “Go on.”</p><p>Zuko accepted the offered cup and took a sip before continuing. “Of course he was shocked.” He stared at his uncle as he said the next words. “I redirected the lightning he shot at me.”</p><p>Iroh coughed and had to set his cup down as he practically choked on the hot beverage. “You did? Oh, Zuko, I am so proud of you! How did it feel?”</p><p>“Exhilarating,” Zuko said. “And terrifying,” he added, the same words he’d given Aang when asked. “I almost lost control of it.”</p><p>Iroh hummed in agreement. “Redirecting lightning is a tricky business. Especially when it comes from a powerful opponent such as Ozai,” he said. He picked his cup back up and took a sip. “You must have been very scared, Zuko.”</p><p>“I was.” Zuko nodded along to his words, surprised at the admission. “If you hadn’t taught me how, I would’ve been killed,” he told him. “Thank you, uncle.”</p><p>Iroh held up a hand and shook his head. “No thanks necessary, nephew,” he argued. “All that matters is that you are still here.”</p><p>Zuko finished his tea but declined when Iroh offered to pour him more. “I went to bust you out of prison. But you were gone. So I took a war balloon and followed the sky bison to an Air Temple. And I tried to join them, but they were against the idea. Except for the earthbender.”</p><p>“Oh, Toph,” Iroh smiled. “I liked her.” </p><p>“I’m gonna pretend I already knew you two met,” Zuko said stubbornly. “Anyway, I ended up burning her feet because she snuck up on me while I was sleeping. I told Aang that I needed to be more careful, and he accepted me as his teacher.”</p><p>Iroh raised a hand to cup his chin in thought. “That is lucky,” he finally said. “That they held no ill intents after that is astounding.”</p><p>“Well, Katara did,” Zuko admitted. “She threatened to kill me.”</p><p>“Very interesting,” said Iroh mildly. He raised an eyebrow to tell his nephew to continue.</p><p>“My firebending was shit after that, so I went with Aang to see the dragons,” Zuko smiled at the memory. “Actual dragons, uncle! It was amazing. They taught us both the truth of firebending.”</p><p>“Yes, Ran and Shaw,” Iroh commented. “I met with them once before, when I offered to keep their existence secret from the Firelord, and claimed I had killed the last of their kind instead. In return, they took me back to the bottom of that awful mountain.”</p><p>“What?” Zuko asked, eyes narrowed in anger. “You saved their lives and that’s all they gave you?”</p><p>Iroh chuckled at him. “That is all I asked for, nephew,” he said. “I did not need the power they would offer me, and I did not want it, lest I be corrupted by it.”</p><p>Zuko clicked his tongue and looked away. “Seems like an unfair trade.”</p><p>“Not at all,” Iroh said. “Now, continue your story.”</p><p>Zuko stilled and moved his hands to his lap to nervously pick at his nails. “Aang and I - we had a very long talk. I told him the truth about my scar. He got so mad, uncle. He went into the Avatar State and I thought... I was so afraid.” </p><p>“He did?” Iroh sounded shocked. “I thought Azula severed his connection when she struck him?”</p><p>Zuko looked up at his uncle. “Yeah, I did too,” he said. “I have no idea how he did it, but he didn’t seem like himself. He attacked me.”</p><p>Iroh was silent for a long moment as he considered the news. He poured himself another cup of tea. “It seems to me Aang encountered a crossroads, of sorts.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Zuko wondered.</p><p>Again, Iroh was quiet, as if calculating his next words carefully. “When Azula cast her lightning at him, he was already in the Avatar State,” he said. “Consider though, that one of the previous Avatars protected Aang from this.”</p><p>“Would that even be possible?”</p><p>“I couldn’t say with certainty, but it would make sense,” Iroh said. “If one of the past Avatars gave their own life for Aang, it would explain why he was still able to enter the Avatar State, after all.”</p><p>“But, I don’t understand,” Zuko said. “He was so sure he wasn’t able to access it.”</p><p>“Yet he did,” Iroh said. “If he was convinced that he could no longer reach that state, it would make sense that he would not try to.”</p><p>Zuko shook his head furiously, anger settling into his stomach. “If that were true, he’d go into the Avatar State while he was in danger. I attacked him - to teach him a lesson about my father. He just ran the whole time! It doesn’t make any sense.”</p><p>Iroh finished his tea and set the cup aside. “It seems many things do not make sense where the Avatar is concerned. I think his attacking you was caused by the pain that came with losing a part of himself,” he said. “What else brought you here, nephew?”</p><p>Zuko clenched his fists but did nothing to unleash his anger. “I helped Sokka save his father and his girlfriend.”</p><p>Iroh stared him down with concern. “You don’t sound so happy about that. Did something happen?”</p><p>“We went to Boiling Rock,” Zuko said. “Mai was there. She saved us so that we could escape. She turned against Azula,” he told him.</p><p>Iroh nodded once, but then shook his head. “I imagine Azula threw her into the nearest cell,” he concluded. “There is something else.”</p><p>Zuko glanced up at him and frowned. “There isn’t. That’s all. We saved Sokka’s father and a few other prisoners.”</p><p>“Sokka is the Water Tribe boy?” asked Iroh curiously.</p><p>Zuko nodded. “He doesn’t bend. But he’s the one that came up with the plan to escape. And he helped me battle Azula.”</p><p>“Without bending?” Iroh questioned.</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko said, laughing slightly. “He used this cool sword. He nearly landed a hit, too.”</p><p>Iroh hummed in appreciation. “Impressive,” he said. “You said you rescued his girlfriend as well?”</p><p>Zuko nodded once more. “Suki,” he said. “She’s a Kyoshi Warrior. She took on Ty Lee by herself and would’ve won if they hadn’t run.”</p><p>Iroh watched his nephew with a knowing look. “You have a crush, Zuko,” he grinned. </p><p>“What?” Zuko laughed at him. “Suki is so not my type,” he argued. </p><p>Nodding, Iroh chuckled. “I would imagine not,” he agreed. Still, he smiled as Zuko went on.</p><p>“Then I went with Katara to hunt down the man that killed her mother,” Zuko told him. “She’s scary when she’s angry.”</p><p>Iroh offered his nephew another cup of tea, which he took gladly.</p><p>“And we saw an awful play by the Ember Island Players.”</p><p>At that, Iroh let out a full-belly laugh that made tears sprout in his eyes. “I can remember how much you hated seeing them when you were younger.”</p><p>Zuko ignored that, though he narrowed his eyes at his uncle. “And now we’re here. June helped us find you.” He gave a soft sigh and stood as Iroh did.</p><p>“Where has the morning gone?” Iroh wondered as he peeked outside the tent. Urgent voices could be heard and Iroh quickly stepped back as someone rushed inside. </p><p>“Oh, you’re awake!” </p><p>“Unfortunately,” Iroh replied. “Is breakfast ready? I’m starving.”</p><p>—————</p><p>After breakfast and Zuko’s embarrassing slip-up about Ozai, they were preparing to leave when Iroh pulled Zuko aside once more.</p><p>“Be careful, nephew,” he said gently.</p><p>“I will,” Zuko said. He gave Iroh a tight hug and pulled away with a slight smile. </p><p>“And maybe tell your crush before you leave,” Iroh teased, elbowing him in the side.</p><p>Zuko let out a pained chuckle and shook his head as he grabbed his side and rubbed it. “Uncle, I told you, she’s not my type.” Still, his cheeks burned at the sudden attention.</p><p>“Who said I was talking about Suki?”</p><p>Zuko frowned and shook his head. “Katara isn’t my type either. She’s too... Katara.”</p><p>Iroh laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, nephew, I hope clarity comes to you sooner rather than later.”</p><p>Before he could respond, Sokka and Katara came up to them. “Thank you, General Iroh,” Sokka said. He gave him a slight bow out of respect and turned to Zuko. “Are you ready to save the world?”</p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Zuko admitted. He glanced back to look at Toph and Suki. “Stay safe out there.”</p><p>Sokka reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “You too. And Katara” — he turned to his sister with a grin — “watch after him, would you?” He threw his thumb at Zuko and laughed at his protests. </p><p>Katara smiled but it quickly fell. She latched onto her brother with a hug before allowing him to climb onto the giant eel hound. She climbed up on Appa after Zuko, determined. </p><p>They all shared one last look before they left. </p><p>“Goodbye everyone,” Iroh called. “Today, destiny is our friend.”</p><p>Appa followed after the eel hound but quickly overtook it as they soared away. Zuko looked down and gave his final wave to Sokka as they parted.</p><p>—————</p><p>“Zuko, don’t worry,” Katara said. “We can take Azula.”</p><p>Zuko looked over at her. “It’s not her I’m worried about. I’m worried about Aang,” he said. And admitting it was terrifying, because Aang was his best friend and he realized how much he did not want to lose him. He quickly mitigated the truth with, “what if he doesn’t have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?” He didn’t really feel that way. He knew Aang would do whatever it took.</p><p>Katara said as much. </p><p>Azula - she was off. Zuko knew as soon as he saw her hacked hair and the crazed look in her eyes that he could take her by himself. </p><p>And he did. He used the same move Katara did to turn water into ice and sent a massive wave of fire at her. </p><p>He used the same move Toph did to cast aside boulders to obliterate Azula’s blue flame with his own.</p><p>He used the same move Sokka did to spiral his boomerang perfectly to send his own boomerang-like flames spewing at her, and they spiraled into the building behind her.</p><p>He used the same move Aang used to whip up arcs of air to send licks of fire at his sister that knocked her off her feet. </p><p>The horror that raced through him when Azula pointed her fingers at Katara made his heart stop. He raced to redirect it; she was Aang’s friend and his own and because -</p><p>Because what? Sokka would miss her too, she was his sister and Zuko would be damned if they lost anymore. The Fire Nation had taken enough from them. And he’d lose Sokka as a friend. That thought alone was enough to jolt him with understanding.</p><p>Agony tore through his body so fast he couldn’t even scream. He wasn’t grounded properly, suspended in the air, so the lightning had nowhere to go other than bouncing around in his body. When he landed, it finally left his body and shot into the air from his other arm. He had to get up - he could hear Azula taunting Katara but his ears were ringing so bad he couldn’t make out the words.</p><p>His body refused to listen when he tried to force himself to stand. He had to help Katara. Sokka would never forgive him if Katara was lost. </p><p>There was sudden silence, save for the fires still burning.</p><p>Katara was there, hovering above him. Zuko couldn’t help the groan as she healed him enough so he could stand. </p><p>Azula was shrieking and sobbing and spitting fire from her mouth. Zuko clutched his chest where he was struck and followed after Katara. </p><p>As they walked through the streets of Ba Sing Se, a harsh steam of blue light lit up the sky, casting everything in its glow. It disappeared just as quickly, Zuko and Katara sharing a knowing look. </p><p>“He did it,” Katara said with reverence in her voice.</p><p>Just like Zuko knew he would.</p><p>—————</p><p>Zuko hung back to speak with Aang, who was taking up the rear while Sokka and Toph transported Ozai in his little earth-made cage.</p><p>“You took his bending,” Zuko stated.</p><p>Aang looked up at him with a grimace. “Yeah,” he said plainly. “He can’t hurt anyone ever again.”</p><p>Zuko stared at his father, pitiful in that cage. “You did good.”</p><p>Aang glanced at him in suspicion, but eventually smiled. He looked so tired. “I did my best,” he said, sheepish. “And you took down your sister.” He leaned heavily on his staff as he walked, using it more as a cane that anything.</p><p>Zuko chuckled as he shook his head. “No,” he claimed. “Katara did,” he said. “I just wore her out.”</p><p>Aang gave a hum of acknowledgement. “You saved her life, Zuko,” he told him. “If you hadn’t been there...”</p><p>“I was,” Zuko was quick to say. “And I was lucky she came along.”</p><p>Aang watched Katara talk to her brother, an easy smile on her face. “Thanks, Zuko. For, well, everything.”</p><p>Zuko scoffed at him, embarrassed. “I didn’t do much,” he argued. “Except chase you around the world a few times too many.”</p><p>Aang let out a chuckle that lessened the pain in Zuko’s words. “I think it was the perfect amount.”</p><p>Zuko smiled softly and looked away from Aang. The palace finally appeared to them in the distance. After reconquering Ba Sing Se, Appa had transported them all to the Fire Nation capital of Caldera City for Zuko’s crowning ceremony.</p><p>Ozai had been unusually quiet and miraculously still the entire way.</p><p>“Can I tell you something, Aang?” Zuko suddenly asked, nervous as he avoided eye contact. They were the same words he’d used before, after meeting the dragons. </p><p>“Yeah, of course.”</p><p>“Avatar Roku was my great-grandfather,” Zuko said in a rush. He didn’t want to lose his cool and change his mind about telling the boy.</p><p>Aang stopped in his tracks and stared at him, mouth falling open and eyes wide. “What!?”</p><p>Zuko cringed when the others turned to see what was going on. He quickly waved them off and whirled on Aang. “Don’t tell anyone,” he whispered fiercely. </p><p>“This is crazy!” Aang shot back excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet now, his fists clenched by his head. “We were destined to be friends, Zuko, don’t you see?” His voice held so much joy it was unbearable. The energy he had lost seemed to come back to him in sudden spurts.</p><p>Zuko shrugged off the words and scowled. “Well, Sozin was my great-grandfather too. And he betrayed you.”</p><p>Aang set a hand on Zuko’s shoulder as if they were old friends and grinned. “But you are not Sozin. You’re way stronger than him.” He gave him a quick hug.</p><p>Zuko was struck by the same words from the dragons, but still just as moved as he had been then. “Thank you.” He barely processed the hug in time, but managed to wrap his arms around Aang for a short second before the airbender was pulling away.</p><p>“Now, come on,” Aang called as he hurried ahead. “We have a ceremony to attend!” He bounded off on spurts of air that sent him flying, laughing like the boy he was when Katara and Sokka waved to him.</p><p>—————</p><p>It was Mai that helped him dress. But when she leaned in to kiss him, he pulled away from her. </p><p>She opened her eyes to stare at him. “Was it something I said?” Her voice was as placid as ever, but there was hurt in her eyes.</p><p>“No,” Zuko said easily. “I’m sorry, Mai. But I just can’t.”</p><p>“Is it Katara?”</p><p>“No.” Zuko laughed bitterly at her. “Why does everyone seem to think it’s someone else? Why can’t it just be me!?” His voice rose with rage as he hurriedly finished his hair and turned back to her.</p><p>His fingers tingled with the energy still coursing through his body. He only hoped it would fade with time.</p><p>Mai stared at him, face stoic even as her eyes revealed her suffering. “Because I know you, Zuko,” she said. “Whoever it is - they’re lucky.” She took her leave with only a slight backward glance.</p><p>Zuko heaved a sigh and turned toward the Fire Sage that had appeared. “I’m ready.”</p><p>—————</p><p>Sokka’s painting really was awful. But it gave them all a nice laugh.</p><p>Zuko was sitting by himself near the turtleduck pond when his uncle found him.</p><p>“Already tired of your newfound title, Zuko?” Iroh asked as he took a seat next to him.</p><p>Zuko stared at his reflection in the pond with weary eyes and a heavy heart. “I broke up with Mai. Officially, I guess. Before the ceremony, she came in to help.”</p><p>Iroh planted a hand on his shoulder to silence him. “Not everything has to be spoken out loud for it to be understood, nephew,” he told him gently. “Some things are better left alone.”</p><p>Zuko watched a lonely turtleduck swim by, its black eyes skimming right past the two of them. “Uncle, I - I don’t know why.” He turned his face toward him, unable to keep the tremble from his voice.</p><p>Iroh pulled his hand back and sighed as he looked up to the clouds. “I hear Suki is going back to Kyoshi Island.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko agreed. “I think Sokka’s ignoring that for the time being.”</p><p>“Perhaps you should speak with him,” suggested Iroh. “If only to help a friend.”</p><p>Zuko glanced at him from his peripheral. “I don’t think Sokka would want to talk about it. Much less with me.”</p><p>Iroh shrugged one shoulder. “Oh, I don’t know,” he cajoled. “Sometimes we just need the right person to speak with.”</p><p>Zuko stood and brushed himself off, extending a hand to his uncle. “I guess I can give it a try.”</p><p>—————</p><p>Sokka was by himself in the room, carving something with a knife. He looked up when the door clicked closed. “Hey, it’s the Firelord. How nice of you to grace me with your presence,” he joked, though his smile fell a bit flat.</p><p>Zuko decided to go along with it. He wanted to see that grin widen into something sincere. “I do like to visit the common people from time to time,” he said, speaking as haughty as possible. “I suppose some riffraff is to be expected though,” he added with a feigned sneer in Sokka’s direction. </p><p>And the Water Tribe boy beamed at him, laughing. “That’s pretty good, Zuko,” he said. He set down his knife and whatever he had been carving and gave him his full attention. “Do Toph now,” he begged.</p><p>Zuko chuckled and pretended to think for a moment. He dropped his head and pointed aggressively at Sokka, planting his feet. “I’m the best earthbender you knuckleheads have ever seen!” He took up a falsetto, but kept his voice brash.</p><p>Sokka practically cackled from his spot on the floor, curling his arms around his middle. “Oh, oh, do Katara!” </p><p>Zuko shifted his weight and rested his hands on his hips, glaring at Sokka. “You’re so immature, Sokka. Can’t you act your age? Sit up straight and pay attention. Everything I say is so important.”</p><p>Sokka was wiping tears from his eyes when he finally fell back and got control of himself. “You’re getting scary good at those impression,” he said.</p><p>Zuko came to sit beside him. “I had a good teacher,” he claimed, motioning to the other.</p><p>Sokka sat back up and leaned against the table. “What brings the Firelord to my room?”</p><p>Zuko shifted, suddenly uncomfortable and feeling too hot in this tiny room. “I wanted to check on you,” he said. “With Suki leaving - I just thought you might need someone to talk to,” he said. “Which is why I’m here. For you. To talk to,” he finished lamely.</p><p>“Oh.” Sokka retreated from his open stance and crossed his legs, hands planted on his knees. “Honestly?” He paused and scoffed in disbelief. “I’m... not upset.”</p><p>“It’d be alright if you were,” Zuko said quickly. “Like - I get if you want to be alone, or - whatever, I guess.” He cringed at his own awkwardness. “But it’s alright if you aren’t, I mean. You don’t have to feel upset or anything like that. I’m not - I don’t mean to tell you how to feel.” </p><p>Sokka gave a graceful snort as he rocked his head back and forth. “I mean,” he claimed, stopped short as he leaned back into the mattress and frowned. “We actually - we talked. A while ago. Before you came back in from the turtle-duck pond.”</p><p>Zuko nodded along, trying to seem interested (which he was, but he was shit at showing it).</p><p>Sokka drew his knees into his chest and circled his arms around them. “I realized there was someone else. And she was fine with it. We just decided to go our separate ways, I guess.”</p><p>“Someone else?” Zuko wondered aloud. “Is it Toph?”</p><p>Sokka actually gave a bark of laughter that scared Zuko. “Spirits, no!” he exclaimed, opening himself back up as he let his knees fall. </p><p>Zuko would give anything to hear that surprised laugh again. “Oh, I see,” he said. “It’s Aang, isn’t it?”</p><p>Sokka folded over as he all but howled, slamming his open palm into the floor. “My secret is out!” he cried gleefully, quickly shaking his head. He calmed easily after that, a relaxed grin on his face. “Katara would murder me, honestly.” </p><p>Zuko scratched at the side of his neck and thought back. “It has to be someone from the group.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sokka agreed. “I don’t - I really don’t think they feel the same way. Which is alright,” he said hastily.</p><p>Zuko felt a prick of realization settle over him once again. His desire to save Katara because Sokka wouldn’t speak with him if she was lost. The fondness he’d been unable to hide as he spoke of the way they had fought together against Azula at Boiling Rock. The ease with which they fell into this dynamic.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>“It’s alright, though,” Sokka was saying. “I just want them to be happy.”</p><p>Zuko kept his wide eyes on the floor. Because he realized he loved Sokka and the boy had someone else in his mind. “Maybe you should tell them. Before you lose your chance.” It was something his uncle would say, but he felt it was necessary.</p><p>Sokka shrugged at him. “I’m not that brave.”</p><p>“Sokka, you went against my sister with a sword,” Zuko reminded him. “You took out Fire Nation soldiers with a boomerang while holding onto Toph. That’s pretty damn brave.” And really, Zuko couldn’t have kept the warmth from his voice if he’d tried.</p><p>Sokka frowned and stared down at the ground. “It’s different. Telling someone how you feel - how you really feel is horrifying to think about.”</p><p>“I know what you mean.”</p><p>“Well, Mai doesn’t seem like the type to do that often,” Sokka chuckled.</p><p>“Mai and I - we’re through,” Zuko told him as calmly as he could. “I just couldn’t.”</p><p>“It’s Aang, isn’t it?” </p><p>And Zuko actually fucking giggled like a schoolgirl at the joke, which had them both dissolving into laughter at each other’s expense. </p><p>“Tell me about them,” Sokka said, so matter of fact and innocent.</p><p>Zuko risked a glance at him and was shocked to find Sokka seemed angry. “On one condition,” he said, which forced Sokka to meet his gaze. “You tell me about yours.”</p><p>“Fine,” Sokka conceded easily. “But, maybe after dinner,” he added when his stomach rumbled.</p><p>Zuko’s own stomach growled in response. “Agreed.”</p><p>—————</p><p>In hindsight, they should’ve done this before dinner. Now, they couldn’t get away from the table.</p><p>Zuko was bombarded with question after question from his advisors; what to do about this and that and the other thing. Aang and Katara had slipped away when they were distracted. Toph had simply held her hand up and marched straight through the men around her. Poor Zuko looked so frazzled that Sokka finally took pity on him.</p><p>“I think the Firelord is ready for bed,” Sokka announced when Zuko pulled himself from sleep for the second time in as many minutes. </p><p>Zuko’s advisors bowed and quickly left the room when he grunted a noncommittal noise. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Seriously though, you look exhausted,” Sokka said with sympathy. “Maybe we should do this tomorrow?”</p><p>Zuko stood and removed the stupid pin from his hair. “No, we had a deal.”</p><p>Sokka clicked his tongue but followed Zuko back to his room, which was enormous compared to where the others were staying. “Impressive.” He whistled in appreciation.</p><p>“It’s too much,” argued Zuko immediately. He turned to his wardrobe to change, but winced when a jolt of electricity passed through his arm and forced it to lock into position.</p><p>Sokka noticed and hurried to his side. “Are you alright? Do you need to sit for a second?”</p><p>Zuko shook his head and grabbed sleep clothes with his other hand. “It’s fine.” He hurried behind the partition to change, cringing as he tried to take off his sleeve. “Sokka?”</p><p>“Yeah, Zuko?”</p><p>“Could you - will you help me with my sleeve?” Shame burned into Zuko’s tone as he asked. He came back out to save Sokka a trip, his sleeve half hanging off his shoulder.</p><p>Sokka stepped forward without hesitation and helped him pull it the rest of the way down. </p><p>Zuko quickly changed into his sleep clothes, getting help to put the sleeve on before sitting on his bed with a relieved sigh. “It feels good to sit down. You first.” He motioned to Sokka to start.</p><p>“Oh, right,” Sokka jumped in surprise and sat in the chair from the desk beside the bed. “Well, I don’t really know how to start.”</p><p>Zuko rolled his eyes as he laid back into the mattress. “I’ll go then,” he said. “I think the best thing is that he’s really talented.”</p><p>“Wait, wait,” Sokka interrupted immediately. “He?”</p><p>Zuko propped himself up on his elbows to look at him. “Yeah,” he said. “Is that a problem?”</p><p>“No!” Sokka exclaimed in a rush, waving his arms in a mitigating fashion. “Mine is a guy too, actually. What do you mean by talented?”</p><p>Zuko thought over that for a moment before he responded. “He’s pretty much good at everything he tries. And he’s a master strategist. Like, better than some of the Fire Nation generals were.”</p><p>“He sounds like quite a guy,” Sokka said, his voice quiet.</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko agreed with a nod. “He’s funny. He always makes everyone laugh, but he knows when to be serious.” He laid back down to avoid Sokka’s searching gaze as he continued. “He’s kind. To pretty much everyone unless they give him a reason not to be. And he’s quick to accept that a person has changed. He takes people at their word.”</p><p>Sokka had gone completely silent now, which made Zuko look up at see him staring at the floor. </p><p>“He’s attractive,” Zuko said, admiring the unhindered view. “His smile is - it’s breathtaking. What about you?” He tilted his head back to scowl at the high ceiling.</p><p>Sokka scratched his chin and frowned. “He’s... he’s a really good person,” he decided on. “He doesn’t really show his soft side often, but it’s there.”</p><p>Zuko felt a flash of jealousy whip through his bones. His arm seized for a moment and had him gritting his teeth to keep quiet from the pain.</p><p>“He’s strong” — Sokka leaned back in his chair — “amazingly so. And he’s a great fighter. Very dependable, like I always know he’ll have my back.”</p><p>Zuko finally sat up. “He sounds great.”</p><p>Sokka simply shrugged. “He’s also really smart, even if other people don’t see it.”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>Sokka actually flushed under Zuko’s gaze. “Well, he - he finds solutions you wouldn’t normally see. Like super fast.”</p><p>“You should tell him,” Zuko concluded. “It’ll make you feel better.”</p><p>“On one condition,” Sokka grinned. “You have to tell yours too.”</p><p>Zuko dropped his eyes to the blanket but gave a nod. “I will. Tomorrow.”</p><p>—————</p><p>Zuko woke to a letter slipped underneath his door. He walked over and picked it up. It was from Sokka.</p><p>Zuko,<br/>We agreed to tell, but I’m not that brave. By the time you read this, Katara, our dad and I will probably be leaving for home on Appa.<br/>It’s you, Zuko. From the moment you helped us defeat Combustion Man, it was you. I didn’t really realize it until you asked Katara to join you while fighting Azula. And how much I wanted it to be me by your side instead of her scared me. I’m not that great with words, but everything I told you is true. I just want you to be happy. And if this guy makes you happy, then so be it. <br/>Hearing you say all that nice stuff about him helped me see that I have to let you go and live your life. I don’t want to hold you back anymore. Be sure and tell that guy before you lose your chance.<br/>Sokka </p><p>Zuko dropped the letter and ran. He was still in his sleep clothes, but he didn’t care. He needed to find that idiot and tell him the truth. He didn’t even stop to see if his door had closed properly, and he didn’t bother to put shoes on.</p><p>He couldn’t lose this chance. Not after everything they had shared.</p><p>Not now.</p><p>Racing through the palace, he barely managed to sidestep a group of sages in time, yelling an apology at them over his shoulder as he heard a few papers scatter to the ground. His bare feet pounded against the floor, signaling to most people to get out of his way.</p><p> He needed to get to the courtyard. That’s where Appa was being kept. He only hoped he wasn’t too late. He prayed to the gods above that they hadn’t left yet. </p><p>One of his advisors called his name as he hurried past. “Busy!” he screamed without stopping to hear what they had to say. He was on a mission.</p><p>Zuko skidded around the last corner and virtually flew down the hallway. He could make out Appa ahead, and he saw Sokka’s stupid face with that feigned, pained smile on it. His heart hammered in his chest, threatened to burst from his rib cage if he didn’t quell its anxiety somehow.</p><p>“Sokka!” </p><p>The Water Tribe boy froze like he’d been suspended in time. All at once, Katara grabbed Sokka’s shoulder and pulled him closer, Hakoda turned to him, Aang looked up, and Zuko charged toward them.</p><p>“Don’t you dare hurt him!” Katara yelled, though her conviction was missing.</p><p>Before he could think on it, Sokka pulled away from her and motioned for her to stay there. </p><p>Zuko saw his mouth move, but couldn’t hear the words over the blood pounding in his ears. </p><p>What could he say to make Sokka realize the truth? That it was him as well, and had always been him since Boiling Rock? There wasn’t a thing he could say to get his point across.</p><p>Instead, he rushed forward and captured Sokka’s lips with his own. Sokka fell back in surprise, Appa his only saving grace as they kissed. </p><p>Zuko’s breathing was ragged through his nose from his run, but he refused to pull away. His good arm was clasping Sokka’s bicep to keep him close, fingers splayed and rigid with the intensity of his emotions.</p><p>Sokka’s hands flew up to cradle Zuko’s face, gentle but firm. </p><p>Zuko didn’t even mind when Sokka’s fingers brushed against his scar, because that was definitely Sokka’s tongue in his mouth and he wanted more.</p><p>Someone cleared their throat, which had both boys jumping away from each other. </p><p>“I take it this means we’re staying?” Hakoda asked, voice stern but an amused glint in his eyes. </p><p>Zuko felt heavy. His lungs burned in the best way possible and his fingers twitched with anticipation, but his mind was shutting down quickly. Sokka had touched his scar. </p><p>“Zuko?” Aang’s voice cut into the shadows in his brain, but they scurried back into place. A hand on his shoulder had him jumping away with a sharp cry of pain.</p><p>“Hold on, don’t touch him,” Katara called, an urgency in her voice he wasn’t used to. </p><p>Zuko realized he couldn’t see. And he was crying out in agony.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Sokka asked, so worried it was gut wrenching.</p><p>“The lightning.” That was Iroh. “Think of it as aftershocks that hurt nearly as much as the true event,” he explained. </p><p>“Shit,” Sokka cursed and was reprimanded by his father because, “foul language has no room here.”</p><p>But really, if he could, Zuko would be cursing too. </p><p>And then, cold water was pressed over the wound and soothing the hurt. He breathed easier immediately, his vision returning slowly and the trembling dissipating. “How’s that feel, Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko glanced down at Katara and nodded at her. “Thank you.”</p><p>She went on for a few more minutes before pulling away. She was sweating from the effort. “There.”</p><p>Zuko did feel immensely better. </p><p>“I’ll take you back to your room,” Sokka and Aang offered at the same time. They exchanged a look before Aang acquiesced. </p><p>They saw Toph along the way, who was clean and dressed in Fire Nation clothes. “Hey, guys,” she called, waving at them. </p><p>Zuko still found it strange how well she knew where everything was. </p><p>Toph came right up to them and poked Zuko in the stomach, frowning. “You seem off,” she said, blunt as ever. “What did I miss?”</p><p>“Nothing important,” Zuko brushed her off and immediately had to lean against Sokka as a wave of electricity forced his leg to seize.</p><p>Toph crossed her arms and looked in their general direction. “I doubt that,” she said. “I can tell when people are lying, in case you forgot.”</p><p>While Zuko had not actually forgotten, it was still surreal to think about. Still, with Sokka steadying him, Zuko found he wasn’t as afraid to speak his mind. “No, I didn’t forget,” he said. “But I’m in a lot of fucking pain and I would like for Sokka to get me to my room so I can lie down on a fucking bed instead of flailing in the hallway like a dying buzzard-wasp.” Was it harsh? Yes. </p><p>Did Toph accept it? Definitely. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?” She asked, frowning. “Quit talking to me and get walking to your room. Don’t drop him, Sokka!” </p><p>If Zuko had been in Sokka’s shoes, he would’ve said something about not dropping her during the battle, but Sokka was a much nicer person than him. “Yeah, Toph, I know.” He latched onto Zuko’s arm and helped him stumble back to his room.</p><p>“This is so stupid,” Zuko snarled when his ankle caught and made him lurch forward. Fuck Azula and her stupid lightning. “Everyone will think I’m an idiot.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Sokka defended without hesitation. “It’s normal, Zuko. You were shot with fucking lightning.”</p><p>Hearing Sokka curse was a kick in the gut, but it put a slight smile on Zuko’s face. “I still can’t show any weakness.”</p><p>Sokka helped him sit and glared at him. “Zuko, I’m serious,” he said. “It’s not good for you if you push yourself through this. I thought -“ he cut himself off and clenched his jaw tight.</p><p>Zuko dropped his eyes from Sokka’s face and drooped. </p><p>“I thought you were dying,” Sokka finally announced. “Earlier. You were screaming - it was terrifying. And I couldn’t do anything to help.”</p><p>Zuko grimaced and dropped his head as another shock raced through his body. “I just don’t understand why it’s so bad.”</p><p>“Dude,” Sokka said. “It was Azula. Her fire is hotter, it would make sense that her lightning is too.”</p><p>“What?” Zuko glared at him like he’d grown another head.</p><p>Sokka crossed his arms. “Blue fire is hotter than normal.”</p><p>Zuko blinked in surprise and shook his head with a laugh. </p><p>“What?” Sokka asked, a blush creeping into his cheeks the longer he held Zuko’s gaze.</p><p>“You surprise me sometimes,” Zuko admitted with a smile. “Like I said, very talented.”</p><p>Sokka shifted his gaze away and scowled. “I can’t even bend,” he argued. “How talented could I be?” His hands were balled tight into fists, knuckles going white.</p><p>“Sokka” — Zuko grabbed his wrist and pulled him to sit down as well — “you do realize you basically mastered all non-bending forms of fighting, right?”</p><p>Sokka stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m not sure I follow,” he admitted.</p><p>Zuko took a deep breath through a sudden wave of pain, but was thankful the shocks were finally settling again. “You already knew all the stuff from your own tribe,” he said. “You mastered the Kyoshi Warrior way of fighting with the fans,” he added. “You literally figured out the Fire Nation’s problem with the war balloons by yourself. And you mastered sword fighting from Piandao. Talented.”</p><p>Sokka rolled his eyes, though Zuko could see the blush returning to his ears and the back of his neck. “Anybody could’ve done that stuff.”</p><p>Zuko clicked his tongue at the dismissal and sat up straighter. “Sokka, look at me.” </p><p>When the boy turned, Zuko was shocked by the sudden tears in Sokka’s eyes. Had he said something wrong?</p><p>“Why are you crying?” Zuko asked, though his voice was much harsher than he’d meant it to be. </p><p>Sokka, thankfully, knew he didn’t mean anything by it and let out a shaking laugh. “I don’t know,” he admitted, and he used the back of his hand to scrub away the tears. “But thank you, Zuko.”</p><p>Zuko glanced over in time to see Sokka reaching for him. He was pulled into a much needed hug that meant so much more to him than Iroh’s hug ever could. Zuko buried his head into Sokka’s shoulder and reveled in the feeling of him in his arms.</p><p>“I should get to work now that the stupid lightning thing is calming down,” Zuko said, though he made no move to pull away.</p><p>Sokka gripped him just a bit tighter before letting him go. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he agreed. </p><p>Zuko stood and went to the armoire, picking up the fire-shaped pin for his hair. He couldn’t help but flush when he turned to see Sokka staring at him. “Could you help me with my sleeves again?”</p><p>Sokka beamed at him and quickly hurried to his side. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, your majesty.”</p><p>Zuko cringed and grabbed Sokka’s hand before he could start. “Just Zuko. For you, it’s just Zuko.” Then, despite the heat covering his entire upper body, he pulled Sokka’s hand up to his mouth and kissed his fingertips.</p><p>The frantic look Sokka gave him made his actions worth it. “Let me help you with this,” he announced even as his voice cracked with shame.</p><p>Zuko couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Already eager to undress me, Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka froze and threw himself away from Zuko so fast he nearly fell backward. “I - no! You - you asked for help!” he claimed through his noises of surprise.</p><p>Zuko chuckled and stepped toward him, holding his hand out until he could latch onto Sokka’s sleeve. He curled his fingers and pulled the boy closer. “I know I’m new to it, but I can promise you I was joking,” he told him. “I won’t if it makes you uncomfortable. Not that I make you uncomfortable - I just mean - sorry.” He screamed at himself internally for making the situation awkward.</p><p>Sokka gulped audibly and shook his head. “No, I just didn’t expect that. I guess I’m just nervous about all of this. I’ve never - uh - never been with a guy before.” He straightened and rubbed the back of his neck to avoid Zuko’s eyes. </p><p>Zuko dropped his hand to give the other some space, though he was nodding along. “I never have either. I think it’s similar to being with a girl, other than... obvious things.”</p><p>Sokka nodded but still wouldn’t look up at him. “Yeah, it’s - well, it’s the obvious things that I’m worried about. I’m not that great.”</p><p>“I think you’re amazing, Sokka,” Zuko told him cautiously, voice unsure. He wasn’t exactly good at this, Mai had never taken kindly to his compliments, and she had never really been one for displays of affection other than kissing. The one time Zuko had tried to hold her hand, she’d yanked her arm away and glared at him for a long while after. Sokka wasn’t Mai, though. He was far different in all the right ways. And, “I want to try for you. To - to be better for you.”</p><p>Sokka went red, though he finally looked back at Zuko with surprise on his face. “I want that too,” he admitted sheepishly. “I have to warn you though, I’m not that great at any of this.”</p><p>Zuko cracked a smile. “Well, I can promise you I won’t turn into the moon,” he joked.</p><p>Sokka chuckled slightly and pulled Zuko into another hug, holding him tight. When he pulled away, he pressed a kiss to his cheek that had them both blushing. </p><p>Zuko dressed and got to work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Followed By Good Advice from Uncle Iroh</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I gotta be honest with you guys, I’m not sure where I’m going with this story so just bare with me!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Aang,” Zuko called when he saw the airbender the next morning, tending to Appa.</p><p>The Avatar turned to him with a huge smile and bowed, using the Fire Nation greeting out of respect. When Zuko returned it, he stood back up. “If it isn’t my great grandson!” he exclaimed happily, holding his arms out for a hug. </p><p>Zuko scoffed at him; embraced him, regardless and stepped away. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that.”</p><p>Aang slumped forward and let his arms dangle, limp. “Aww, but Zuko! It’s no fun if I can’t use the knowledge you so graciously gifted me with,” he whined, giving the newfound Firelord a sad look as he clasped his hands together in front of him.</p><p>“You look like a deer-dog begging for scraps,” Zuko commented idly, ignoring the Avatar’s whining altogether. “Anyway, that wasn’t why I came over here,” he added in a rush. “Sokka is too chicken to ask, but he wants to train with you.” He pointed over his shoulder at the Water Tribe boy that was currently peeking around one of the courtyard pillars. </p><p>Aang leaned over and spotted Sokka before he could shrink back behind the pillar. “Oh,” he said. He shot Sokka a wave before turning back to Zuko. “Well, sure! That would be really fun!” he claimed, springing back up with a grin.</p><p>“Great,” Zuko muttered. “I’ll watch for as long as I can,” he added, glancing around. “Until my sages come and claim me as their own again.”</p><p>Aang laughed and shot him a thumbs up. “Sounds great, Zuko! Come on, Sokka, let’s get started!”</p><p>Sokka hurried out, smiling. “Aang, feel free to use whatever elements you want. And don’t hold back, alright?” He withdrew one of Zuko’s dao swords.</p><p>Zuko jolted to his feet and frowned. “Hey, where’d you get that!” He stomped over and snatched the sword from his hands, cradling it against him. </p><p>Sokka laughed nervously. “Well, I kind of saw it in your room and took it? I lost my space sword somewhere in the woods around Ba Sing Se during the battle. Why? Can’t I use it? Just this once?” He raised an arm to rub the back of his neck.</p><p>Zuko pulled the sword further away from Sokka’s other outstretched hand with a scowl. “No! You can’t just use one,” he argued vehemently. “You have to use both of them, one in each hand. You have to think of them as two parts of the same sword, not separate entities!”</p><p>“Then I’ll just go get the other one,” Sokka claimed as he lurched forward.</p><p>“No!” Zuko shouted again, glaring at the boy. He realized how ridiculous he was being, but he really couldn’t help it. The anger sitting under the surface refused to back down this time, despite his best efforts to squash it.</p><p>“Zuko, it’s all right,” Aang said, his voice gentle as he approached and set a comforting hand on his arm. “We can just go find Sokka’s sword and train later. Do you want to come with us?”</p><p>Zuko inhaled harshly and let his breath leave him slow, squeezing his eyes shut against the barrage of stimulus. He didn’t open them again until his heart stopped hammering. “Yeah. That sounds good.” When he looked up, all he could see now was Sokka looking distraught, his eyes wide and his arms wrapped around his middle like he’d eaten something bad. “You go on ahead, Aang. We’ll meet you back here when Appa is ready.”</p><p>Aang glanced over at Sokka and nodded. “Right,” he agreed. </p><p>Sokka started ahead, not waiting for Zuko this time.</p><p>Zuko mentally kicked himself as he hurried after the other boy, guilt fueling his shame. “Sokka-“</p><p>“I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear, your majesty?” Sokka asked fiercely, his fists now clenched as he stalked down the hallway toward Zuko’s room. “I didn’t think it would be such a problem if I borrowed your sword for the ten seconds I’d be on my feet.”</p><p>Zuko glared at the floor, thinking of a good comeback before releasing that feeling and grabbing Sokka’s arm to stop him and turn the boy toward him. “Stop it,” he claimed. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t even know why I shouted, it was ridiculous.”</p><p>Still, Sokka refused to meet his eyes. </p><p>“Sokka, look at me,” Zuko said. “Please.”</p><p>At that, Sokka looked up, out of shock more than anything. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Zuko told him, unable to hold the eye contact as the embarrassment rested on his tongue. He was a child really, for doing that. “I’m an idiot for yelling at you over something so stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, you did,” Sokka muttered unhappily.</p><p>“I know,” Zuko said. “And I’m sorry. And didn’t I already tell you? For you, it’s just Zuko.”</p><p>Sokka couldn’t help the smile that cracked through his facade, even as he shook his head. “That’s cheating,” he said as he reached out to brush his fingertips against Zuko’s unscarred cheeks. </p><p>Zuko flushed and his mind went blank.</p><p>Sokka yanked his hand away and coughed. “Sorry, I - you had... something...” he turned and hurried away again. </p><p>Zuko raised his free hand and repeated the motion, shocked that Sokka had so willingly touched him. And then he jogged after the other boy to catch up to him once more. “I don’t mind. If you - I mean if you want to, uh, do that. Uh, t-touch me, I mean. If - if you’re all right with that. I don’t mean that you aren’t all right with that, I just - I mean - I’ll shut up now,” he cut himself off and nervously scratched at the edge of his scar, where the start of his eyebrow might be. He despised how awkward he was.</p><p>Sokka didn’t say anything as they turned the corner into the hallway that Zuko’s room was on. </p><p>“I can teach you,” Zuko claimed before he could think too much on it. “How to use the dao swords, if you want to learn.”</p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Sokka grinned and held the door open for Zuko, folding forward in an awkward bow. “I’d love that,” he agreed. “After we find my space sword and I train with Aang for a bit, though.”</p><p>“Of course,” Zuko said with a nod. He placed the sword back in its mount along with the other one, careful of the blade. “Did you ever hear about the Blue Spirit?”</p><p>“Who?” Sokka asked, tilting his head.</p><p>Zuko stayed silent as he shook his head. “Nothing. Never mind. Let’s go find your sword.”</p><p>—————</p><p>“Hey!” </p><p>Both Zuko and Sokka jumped at the voice. </p><p>Toph stomped right up to them and pointed at them, glaring. “What are you two knuckleheads up to, huh?” she asked, voice as loud as ever. </p><p>Zuko glanced at Sokka before straightening his stance. “We’re just going to Ba Sing Se to see if we can find Sokka’s sword,” he explained. “Would you like to join us, Toph?”</p><p>Toph dropped her arms and grinned so wide it hurt Zuko just to look at. “Would I!?” she exclaimed, putting her closed fists on her hips. “Of course I would!” </p><p>Sokka glared at Zuko even as he pretended to be happy about Toph joining them. The three of them walked to Appa together, bickering like old friends.</p><p>“Hey, I’ll be great on this mission! I can see everything, even without real sight,” Toph argued at Sokka’s insistence that she stay behind. “Besides, you losers will need a bodyguard anyway. And you’re in luck because I’m looking for work.”</p><p>“Work?” Zuko asked her.</p><p>“Yeah, work! That a problem for you, your highness?” Toph asked with that usual spite in her voice. </p><p>Despite that, Zuko grinned. “No, no problem, Toph. I’ll even pay you.”</p><p>“Wait, really!?” </p><p>“Of course,” Zuko said. “If you’re going to be my bodyguard, I’ll have to make sure you’re paid handsomely.”</p><p>Toph stopped in her tracks when Appa lowed at her. She dug her hand into his fur as she thought. “Are you fucking with me?” she finally asked.</p><p>Zuko laughed at the language but shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m being serious, Toph. I kind of need a bodyguard now, anyway. Since I’m probably public enemy number one right now. And ever since the Kyoshi Warriors returned to Kyoshi Island for recruitment and training, I’m a little... understaffed.”</p><p>“Hey, I’m the Avatar,” Aang commented. “Am I not enough security for you?”</p><p>“No offense, Twinkle Toes, but you’re kind of a wimp,” Toph told him. </p><p>Aang looked at her and frowned. “Hey, I take offense to that.”</p><p>“That was the idea.” Toph smirked in his general direction as she let Zuko help her into Appa’s saddle. “Your airbending is great and all, but the whole running away every chance you get doesn’t exactly make for a good security guard.”</p><p>Aang jumped and spiraled up on Appa’s head, frown deepening into a scowl. “I sure saved your butt plenty of times,” he muttered.</p><p>“All right!” Sokka exclaimed, taking Zuko’s outstretched arm. “To Ba Sing Se we go,” he said, breaking the awkward tension between them as he clambered up and settled in the saddle.</p><p>“Appa, yip yip!” Aang said, lifting the reins so lightly it could barely be counted as a snap. </p><p>Appa opened his mouth in a deep whine and slapped his tail down in the courtyard as he took off. Wind whistled past their ears as they rose into the air. Appa turned toward Ba Sing Se and then sailed forward.</p><p>—————</p><p>Aang was the first one on the ground, using his airbending to soften his landing on the springy moss. “Woah, this forest is huge!” He closed his eyes and used the technique Toph taught him to sense everything within the nearby trees. </p><p>Zuko scrambled down and looked around, sunlight streaming through the leaves and warming patches of grass in its golden rays. He had really missed this; being out with his friends - his best friends - on an adventure. Much less life-threatening than ever before though, finding a sword rather than hiding from enemies or trying to survive against all odds.</p><p>Toph landed hard on the ground beside him, letting out a sigh of relief. “Ah, solid ground never felt better! It’s been so long since I’ve flown on Appa I almost forgot what it was like to not be able to see.” She turned to Sokka as he stumbled over a root and nearly crashed into her. She slid her foot forward sharply to right him, a column of earth steadying his footing.</p><p>“Thanks,” Sokka said. He winced and rubbed his forearm when she punched him to give her answer. “See those stone pillars?” He pointed off into the distance, where they could barely see the crests peeking over the tree line.</p><p>“Is that where you lost space sword?” Aang asked, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. </p><p>Sokka nodded. “I kind of threw it though, so it could be anywhere. It’s probably best if we stay on the ground to look.” </p><p>Toph straightened her stance, held her arms out with her palms up, and slammed her heel into the ground.</p><p>Zuko watched her in awe. He hadn’t ever truly seen her do this before; sense everything around her with just one movement. “Find it?”</p><p>Toph dropped her stance and shook her head. “Nope, can’t sense it anywhere. Yet. What about you Aang?”</p><p>Aang did the same move, and Zuko only now realized they boy wasn’t wearing shoes. It made perfect sense; in order to have full awareness, an earthbender would need to be as close to the ground as possible. “Nope. Just a lot of animals and trees. Let me see if I can...” he leaned down and set a hand on one of the nearby tree roots. His tattoos glowed a fierce blue for a moment before they settled. “Nothing.”</p><p>“Looks like we’re doing this the old-fashioned way. You got time, Fire Lord?” Toph wondered. She threw her hand at him to point, narrowing her eyes.</p><p>Zuko chuckled at her. “Yes, I do,” he told her. </p><p>Sokka rustled around in his bag before pulling out a map of the very forest they were in. “All right.” He pointed to one of the edges as they all gathered around him. “We’re in this area here. Now, there’s four of us, so we’ll separate it into four equal grids to cover more ground. Sound good?”</p><p>Zuko would never be over how amazing Sokka was. The boy was beyond intelligent, yet doubted himself more than anyone Zuko knew. Cover more ground and save time (which as the newfound Fire Lord, was precious to Zuko). </p><p>“Good idea, Sokka,” Aang said before Zuko could. </p><p>Sokka grinned and took out a piece of charcoal, drawing three lines onto the paper. “I’ll take this middleish section. Aang you take this outside edge, Toph you take the opposite side. And Zuko, you’ll be here. If you two sense anything before either of us, let us know.”</p><p>Zuko realized Sokka had put him between the earthbender and Sokka himself. A way to protect him or keep an eye on him? Zuko thought it was actually kind of sweet. </p><p>Either way, the areas they took were much bigger in real life than on the map, and Zuko found himself alone rather quick. He had hoped to talk to Sokka alone about what happened earlier. Guess he would have to wait for that.</p><p>It wasn’t long before he came across the pond he had seen on the map. Zuko could see an anthill nearby, and decidedly steered clear of it. He wasn’t in the mood to get bitten. When he got closer, he noticed several horned toads and a few turtleducks swimming circles in the water. </p><p>Was it possible Sokka’s sword had gone into the water? There was only one way to find out. </p><p>Zuko shed his Fire Nation robes, took off his shoes and hiked up his pants to wade into the chilly water. One of the horned toads hopped off its rock when he got too close, and the turtleducks quacked at him as they hurried to the opposite shore. </p><p>The water lapped at his legs and the chill settled deep into his bones until he was shivering. Thankfully, the pond was small and Zuko covered it all in a matter of minutes with no luck, the turtleducks skirting around him in a sort of dance.</p><p>He climbed back to the shore and returned his clothes, thankful for the warmth they offered. Even still, he rubbed his hands together and took a sharp breath to focus before letting out a flame as he exhaled. His entire body warmed instantly, but he couldn’t help but feel sad about his uncle. </p><p>The old man would be returning to Ba Sing Se soon, to keep the peace within the Order of the White Lotus. He would miss him.</p><p>As early as they had left, the sun was now high in sky above Zuko’s head when he finally reached the end of the forest. The stone pillars stood before him, tall and daunting. How he wished he had been there to see Aang kick his father’s ass.</p><p>Several of the monoliths had fallen, crumpled to the ground in heaps of boulders. He could imagine Aang in his Avatar State sending slices of air at his father and throwing those very boulders in his direction. </p><p>Zuko sat and waited, meditating. </p><p>It wasn’t until he heard rustling behind him that he realized how alone he was. He bolted to his feet and turned, arms already in position and feet planted firmly to keep his balance.</p><p>“Relax, Sparky, it’s just me,” Toph announced as she emerged. She slapped a hanging branch out of her way and was nearly clipped by it on its return journey. She somehow managed to avoid it altogether and plopped herself down beside Zuko. “You find anything? I certainly didn’t.”</p><p>Zuko shook his head before remembering himself. “No, I didn’t find it. Maybe Sokka and Aang did.”</p><p>Speak of the devil, Sokka was joining them moments later, though with empty hands and a despondent look on his face. He flopped onto the ground, letting his legs splay out in front of him as he slouched. “No luck. Maybe space sword really is gone for good,” he whined.</p><p>“Well, we still got Twinkle Toes to wait for,” Toph supplied. </p><p>Zuko watched her for a moment before realizing she was practically staring at the fallen columns of earth. She actually looked kind of sad. Zuko took his seat next to her and folded his legs, Indian style. “Did you guys see it? The fight?”</p><p>Sokka and Toph turned to him, though Sokka’s face held something unreadable.</p><p>“Nope,” Toph said. She waved her hand in front of her face, though she was smiling. “No, I couldn’t see it. We were kind of busy trying not to plummet to our deaths. I - I saw the aftermath,” she said before Zuko could think to apologize. “It must’ve been a pretty brutal fight to create so much carnage.” She seemed to look up at the broken pillars, a sad look on her face.</p><p>Sokka dropped his head and nodded. “All I could really see was the fire. Of course Ozai’s, but Aang’s too. But no, I didn’t see the whole fight,” he told them. “It was terrible. To think one of my friends was down there by himself with no one to help.”</p><p>“He’s the Avatar,” Toph reminded sharply. “He doesn’t need help,” she added as she raised her fist and gently bumped Sokka’s shoulder. </p><p>Sokka glanced at her and gave a soft smile. “Yeah, I know,” he said. He rubbed his shoulder despite the fact that it didn’t hurt, watching Zuko as he stared at the columns of earth.</p><p>“I found it!” </p><p>The three of them jumped to their feet as Aang hurried over to them on top of his air scooter, holding the glistening sword high above his head. </p><p>Except -</p><p>“It’s broken,” Sokka said. The excitement drained from his body fast, making his shoulders slump as Aang stopped and handed it to him. The sword has splintered into three pieces. The hilt had separated from the tang of the blade completely - snapped in half - and the guard was cracked through. The blade itself was intact (which was definitely a show of Sokka’s skills and the sword’s making). </p><p>“You can fix it though, right?” Aang asked, ever hopeful. </p><p>Sokka looked it over, holding the blade carefully away from everyone. “Yeah, I think so. The tang is still intact, so I think I can just melt them back together.” He stuck the broken hilt into his pocket and turned to Aang. “Thank you.”</p><p>Aang grinned and bounced in happiness. “I found space sword, whoohoo!” The boy dug into the folds of his robes and took out the bison whistle to call for Appa.</p><p>All four climbed back on and they were on their way back to Caldera.</p><p>When they landed, a Fire Sage was racing out to them. “Fire Lord Zuko! You missed your morning meeting and we grew so worried because no one could find you!”</p><p>Zuko brushed his robes off and narrowed his eyes in thought. “Morning meeting?” </p><p>The sage dropped to his knees in a bow with a whimper. “Did I forget to mention you had one this morning? I was meant to tell you yesterday. I thought I had! Fire Lord Zuko, please forgive me! I apologize for my inability to-“</p><p>“Stand up,” Zuko snapped. “Why are you apologizing? It was a little mistake. Come on, did I miss anything important?” He extended a hand to help the man up, which only made the sage flinch away and scramble to his feet.</p><p>“Thank you for your generosity, Fire Lord Zuko. The only thing you missed was General Iroh’s decision to return to the Earth Kingdom capital of Ba Sing Se,” he said. He was still bowing, afraid to stand. “I believe he is leaving soon, if you wish to see him.”</p><p>Zuko clicked his tongue but stuck his hand back to his side and Sokka and Aang came to flank his sides. “Thank you, Daiko,” he said, giving the man a bow.</p><p>The sage hurried away, still holding the bow until he was through the doorway.</p><p>“All right, Daiko says my uncle is leaving soon. I’m going to see him before that happens,” Zuko said as he turned to Sokka and Aang. Toph landed on the ground with a glare and stomped up to him.</p><p>“That guy was afraid of you, Zuko,” Toph told him.</p><p>Zuko frowned but gave a nod. “The Fire Sages are still used to my father’s way of ruling. They will come to understand the truth in time, I hope,” he told them. “I’d better go see me uncle.”</p><p>—————</p><p>Iroh had just finished packing his bag when Zuko barged into the room. “Uncle, were you planning to leave without telling me goodbye?”</p><p>Iroh turned to him with a smile. “Well, no one could find the Fire Lord this morning, I’m afraid. I could only hope you would return before I left. I am glad you’re here, nephew.”</p><p>Zuko surged forward and swept his uncle into a hug. “Be safe in Ba Sing Se, uncle.”</p><p>Iroh patted his back. “Of course, Zuko. You be safe too.”</p><p>Zuko pulled away and frowned. “I will,” he told him. “Uncle, I should probably thank you. It was because of you that I realized the truth of my feelings for Sokka.”</p><p>Iroh smiled again and reached up to pat his face. “All I did was give you a tiny push in the right direction, nephew,” he said happily. “Though, I am very happy for you.”</p><p>Zuko dipped his head slightly, flushing. “I - what if I mess things up?”</p><p>Iroh sighed and turned back to his things as if to rearrange them. “You probably will,” he said honestly. “But, that just means you are trying your best, Zuko. If Sokka feels the same way about you, he will understand.”</p><p>Zuko nodded and looked to the ground, nervously picking at the tiny fray on one of the seams on his sleeve. “I’m not good at this,” he admitted sadly. “But I don’t want to lose him. I think he’s amazing, uncle.”</p><p>“So tell him that,” Iroh said with a happy chuckle. “Zuko, if he does not accept you as you are, then he is not the one for you. Do you understand? If he loves you, then he will take you, with all your faults.”</p><p>“I don’t want to be faulty,” Zuko argued with a vehement shake of his head. “I don’t want to be broken.”</p><p>Iroh tilted his head, empathy evident in the gentle expression he offered his nephew. “But, you are broken, Zuko,” he said softly. “That doesn’t mean you are a bad person,” he added when Zuko looked up to argue. “It is okay to be broken, but it is not all right to use that brokenness as an excuse to hurt those you care for.” He turned and picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “I suggest you take a good look inside yourself, Zuko. Who are you, and what do you want?”</p><p>Ah, yes, Zuko recalled hearing this once before. But, his uncle was right. Zuko couldn’t keep using his past as an excuse to hurt peoples’ feelings. He couldn’t keep using his past as an excuse to why he was being a dick for ridiculous reasons. He had to be better. “I want to be better,” he admitted firmly. “Not just for Sokka, but for myself too.”</p><p>Iroh walked with him to the door. “Good,” he said. “As long as you keep that in mind, you should be fine. And I trust you will let me know if you need any help?”</p><p>Zuko glanced over at him as he held the door open. “I’ll do my best,” he said. “I don’t want to disturb you too often.”</p><p>“From you, nephew, it will never be a disturbance,” said Iroh. “I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can.”</p><p>Zuko dipped his head and gave his uncle the Fire Nation salute, trying to keep the sadness from his eyes. “I will miss you,” he said.</p><p>Iroh swept him into another hug rather than return the bow. “And I will miss you, Zuko. Do not hesitate to send me messages, nephew. I’ll do my best to inform you when I reach Ba Sing Se.”</p><p>Zuko helped him secure his things on the eel-hound before Iroh climbed into the saddle. “Goodbye, uncle. I’ll be sure to let you know if I need help. Or, I’ll try to.”</p><p>“That is all I ask of you, Fire Lord Zuko,” Iroh called as he turned and threw a wave over his shoulder. The eel-hound hurried away with a single command, and Zuko felt his heart grow heavier than ever.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think! Comments are kudos are my fuel!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You're My Anchor in the Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka stared at Zuko in disbelief. “My dad would never do something like that. He would’ve kicked me out of the meeting and given me a stern talking to, but he never would’ve scarred me for life! Where is he?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Ozai. Where are you keeping him? Where is his cell?” Sokka asked again, urgent.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW - panic attacks, slur against LGBTQ+ (toward the end of the chapter), Ozai (the worst trigger of all), past Zuko hurt/angst/whump, reference past child abuse, tiny mention of vomit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Iroh safely back in Ba Sing Se, Zuko honestly felt a little more alone than he had in a long time. Hakoda had finally decided to go back to the Southern Water Tribe to rule his people, but Katara and Sokka insisted on staying with Zuko.</p><p>Toph was more of an enigma than the others. She was often gone for much of the day, only to return to the palace covered in grime, exhausted and ravenous. Even when asked, she just said she was doing some practice that didn’t concern anyone. It was a little worrying, but Zuko did his best to ignore that voice in the back of his mind that said she was trying to abandon her friends.</p><p>“Firelord Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko focused back in on the meeting with a confused expression, eyed wide. “I — sorry, Daiko. I didn’t hear what you said.”</p><p>Daiko bowed to him in a rush. “I apologize, Firelord Zuko! I’ll do my best to speak up,” he said.</p><p>Zuko stifled a sigh. “It’s not your fault,” he told him. “I was thinking about other things.”</p><p>“I’m sorry to bore you, Firelord Zuko,” Daiko said then.</p><p>“You’re not boring me, Daiko,” Zuko amended. “Can you repeat what you said? Please.”</p><p>Daiko stumbled over his own feet as he staggered back and bowed a few more times. “Certainly,” he claimed, voice shaking.</p><p>That was another thing. The palace staff were convinced Zuko would somehow become his father, despite all the rules he had already done away with to lessen his father’s tyranny (first and foremost the persecution of same-sex couples, for obvious reasons. While that hadn’t been his father’s doing, it was something he gladly enforced and Zuko was quick to get rid of it). It was infuriating. It was definitely something he would have to get used to for the time being, at least until they learned he wasn’t an awful person like the previous Firelord.</p><p>“Great Sage Shyu requests an audience with both you and the Avatar this afternoon,” Daiko said, still bowing. “Shall I send a messenger hawk with your answer?”</p><p>“I’ll have to speak with Aang,” Zuko started, “but let him know I’ll be there. Thank you, Daiko. Is that everything for today?”</p><p>“Yes, Firelord Zuko. That is everything we had on the agenda for today,” Daiko said.</p><p>Zuko stood and stretched his arms above his head, dismissing Daiko with a wave. The sage kept his bow until he left the room. Zuko was surprised to see Katara walk in a few moments later, looking upset. “Katara, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Katara looked up at him and wiped at her eyes. “Oh, sorry,” she said with a small laugh. “Dad just left. Sokka is taking it pretty hard, but he has reason to be here now.”</p><p>Zuko couldn’t help the flush that creeped into his cheeks. “I’m — have you seen Aang today?” he asked, changing the subject completely.</p><p>Katara cracked a smile but shook her head. “He went with dad on Appa back to the tribe,” she said. “I don’t think he’s supposed to be back for another week.”</p><p>“And you didn’t go with him?” Zuko asked, standing to join her so they could walk down the hallway together. “Why so long?”</p><p>Katara shook her head. “No,” she said. “I wanted to stay with Sokka, and Aang wanted to learn some more about our culture. I figured Sokka would need me a little more than dad or Aang right now.” She looked over at Zuko with a kind smile. “I’m really happy for you two.”</p><p>“I’m not exactly the best person for him to be with,” Zuko argued. “I’m mean more often than not,” he added with a scowl. “I yelled at him the other day for taking my sword.”</p><p>“Did he ask?”</p><p>“Well, no. But that’s not the point.”</p><p>Katara chuckled as she swept her hair out of her face. “Sokka has a bad habit of assuming people will let him use their stuff,” she told him. “Look, you’re a mess and I get that. But Sokka has a lot to learn too, and I think you’re both good for each other.”</p><p>“How so?” Zuko wondered.</p><p>“Well, I actually found Sokka writing you that letter,” Katara admitted sheepishly. She toyed with the hem of her sleeve, nervous. “He told me all these great things you said about this guy, and I knew immediately you were talking about him.”</p><p>Zuko ducked his head, embarrassed, as they rounded the corner into the courtyard.</p><p>“Zuko, all those things you said — about him mastering fighting styles and how intelligent he actually is — it’s all stuff he’s insecure about,” Katara said softly. “He struggled so much with his own worth and thinking he wasn’t enough just because he couldn’t bend. He’s my brother, so of course I know he’s more amazing than he thinks, even if I’ll never tell him that. I doubt he would believe me anyway. So, I guess hearing someone else realize those truths about him was really nice.”</p><p>“You don’t act like you know those things about him,” Zuko pointed out.</p><p>Katara chuckled and gave a shrug. “He’s dumb, but he’s not stupid,” she said. She sat down on the grass next to the turtleduck pond and Zuko followed suit. “I just get so sick of him pretending to be an idiot.”</p><p>“He doesn’t pretend,” Zuko claimed. “He is actually an idiot. He’s just the kind of idiot that can force an idea out in the two seconds he has left to fight. I envy him that.”</p><p>Katara smiled but didn’t deny the words. “It’s strange to think of you as jealous of someone. Especially Sokka.”</p><p>Zuko shrugged and pulled a few slices of bread from his robes, which earned him an incredulous look from Katara. “I always keep some with me,” he said as an explanation, cheeks burning. “Anyway, I envy a lot of things about all of you.”</p><p>“Do tell, your majesty,” Katara teased, nudging him in the side as if they were swapping trade secrets.</p><p>Zuko chuckled despite the ache in his chest. “I envy Toph’s patience,” he started.</p><p>Katara burst into laughter. “Toph is not patient!”</p><p>“I mean the patience she has for her element,” Zuko clarified quickly. “She can control her bending so well, and I’m jealous.”</p><p>“Yeah, I can get that,” Katara admitted with a nod. After all, she had felt the same way when Aang had so quickly picked up waterbending and even started to surpass her.</p><p>“I envy Aang’s entire way of life. His culture and the teachings are so … pure. I wish I had even a fraction of his humbleness, or his compassion for everything around him.”</p><p>Katara smiled sweetly at that, staring at the sun’s reflection in the water. “The monks were such a peaceful people.”</p><p>“And my family laid waste to them. No consideration for the fact that they were innocent people. Did you know the Air Nomads didn’t even have a formal military?” Zuko scowled deeply at the grass, the pieces of bread in his hand forgotten.</p><p>“Yeah. Aang told me,” Katara said. “But that wasn’t you. You are not your family.”</p><p>“I’m working on a law to preserve the remaining temples,” Zuko told her.</p><p>“I think that’s amazing, Zuko.”</p><p>Silence passed between them.</p><p>“I envy the bond you and Sokka have. Azula is the worst sister in the world, I think. But she was made that way,” Zuko said finally. “Our father forced her into the belief that perfection was strength. He forced her to think that any mistake was a show of weakness. Honestly, I feel kind of bad for her.”</p><p>Katara dug a finger into the ground in thought, frowning. “Ozai did the same to you,” she said. “And you turned out fine.”</p><p>“I had my uncle, and still fell short more than once,” Zuko pointed out. “Azula had no one but herself.”</p><p>“That’s — that’s true.” Katara sighed and leaned back slightly. “It is kind of sad now that I think about it. Do you think she would’ve turned out differently if she had gone into exile with you and General Iroh?”</p><p>“Hard to say,” Zuko said with a shrug. “I’d like to think so, but I can’t know.”</p><p>“Where is she?”</p><p>“Ah, well …” Zuko looked over the courtyard, his head beginning to ache from the hairpin and the heat. “She’s in a mental institution. I honestly don’t think that will help much. I think she may be too far gone, unfortunately.”</p><p>‘Well, she’s only — what — 16 or so?”</p><p>“14,” Zuko corrected.</p><p>“What?” Katara stared at him with wide eyes. “I didn’t realize she was so … young. I mean, I’m not any older, but — that’s so sad. Wait, you’re 16, right?”</p><p>Zuko nodded. “Yeah, I’m 16,” he assured her. “She’s been mean from an early age, but I don’t think our father helped at all in that regard.”</p><p>“It must’ve been hard for you,” Katara noted.</p><p>“I was 11 when our mother left us,” Zuko said, trying to keep his voice even despite the raging of his heart.</p><p>“I was eight and Sokka was nine when the Fire Nation took our mother,” Katara told him.</p><p>“I was ten when that happened,” Zuko whispered, eyes wide. “I never even knew.”</p><p>“I was wrong to blame you,” said Katara kindly, setting a hand on Zuko’s forearm.</p><p>“But I—”</p><p>“Had nothing to do with it,” Katara said. “We were all children when it happened, Zuko. It was your nation that took away both of our moms. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”</p><p>Zuko looked away to hide that his eyes had filled with tears.</p><p>“Good morning, Sokka!” Katara called out, raising a hand to wave.</p><p>Zuko glanced up to see Sokka heading their way, his hair down rather than raked into the signature wolf tail. “Hey, you two. I slept amazing last night!” He plopped himself on the other side of Zuko and leaned forward to look at them both. “Why do you both look so sad?”</p><p>“We were just talking about moms,” Katara told him. “Did you know Azula is only 14?”</p><p>Sokka’s mouth fell open comically as he stared. “What!? I knew she was young, but I didn’t realize she was that much younger than me!”</p><p>“She definitely doesn’t act like it,” Katara agreed. “I’m glad you slept well, Sokka.”</p><p>“Yeah, me too,” Sokka claimed. “It was a little rough at first, getting used to sleeping in an actual bed instead of Appa’s saddle or the ground,” he laughed, scratching the back of his head. “What about you guys?”</p><p>“I slept fine,” Katara said. “I wish I could’ve slept a bit longer, though,” she admitted.</p><p>“Weren’t you both up to see your dad off?” Zuko wondered.</p><p>“I went back to sleep,” Sokka told them. “I don’t think my body was prepared for that much emotion in a short amount of time.”</p><p>Zuko nodded in understanding. “I slept,” he said simply. “Not nearly well enough or long enough,” he added when he noticed the question forming on both Katara’s and Sokka’s faces. “I was actually thinking of taking a nap since I’m done for today.”</p><p>“Already? Don’t you have to go sit in that stupid fire room and look all intimidating and stuff?” Sokka asked, waving his arms beside his head like fire as he feigned an intimidating glare.</p><p>Zuko cracked a smile and Katara shook her head, frowning at her brother. “I swear, Sokka, you’re so dumb,” she said.</p><p>“I don’t know, Katara. I think that’s a pretty accurate depiction of the war room,” Zuko said as serious as he could. It didn’t work well because he couldn’t wipe the grin from his face. “But no. I only sit in there when troops need to be moved or similar things.”</p><p>“Oh.” Sokka deflated with a pout. “Lame.”</p><p>“I’m sure Zuko is sick of seeing that room anyway,” Katara said.</p><p>“Actually, it’s pretty cool,” Zuko told her as he turned his head to look at her. “The fire responds to your emotion. So, it gets bigger when you’re angry and it gets smaller when you’re at peace or happy.”</p><p>“Woah, really?” Sokka asked, grinning as he leaned into Zuko’s personal space. “How does it work? Is it like connected to you? Is it spirit fire or regular fire? If I touched it, would it burn me, or can you control who it burns?”</p><p>Katara stood, laughing. “Okay, I can only handle so much of my idiot brother in one day,” she chuckled. “I’m going to go practice some of my forms.”</p><p>Zuko and Sokka waved her off as she left.</p><p>“But, seriously, answer my questions.”</p><p>Zuko barked a laugh, feeling happier than he had in a while. “Well, I decided to get rid of the fire altogether,” he explained. “But basically, the fire is from the Firelord. Come on, I’ll show you.”</p><p>———</p><p>“Don’t touch it,” Zuko warned. “I control it, but it’s still real fire.” He motioned Sokka forward and pointed to the hollowed parts below. “See those? They burrow right into the volcano beneath Caldera. The gases from the volcano come through this, so it acts as a kind of vent. That’s why is always smells so strongly in here.”</p><p>“Wow! That’s really cool,” Sokka exclaimed, an excited smile on his face.</p><p>“Now back up,” Zuko said.</p><p>Sokka took a few steps back, looking eager.</p><p>Zuko stepped over the vents to the opposite side, took a deep breath, and punched both of his fists out to his sides. Fire streamed from his knuckles to the vents and immediately took to the gases, igniting all the way around the throne and leaping up to practically obscure his field of vision.</p><p>“Awesome!” Sokka shouted, throwing his arms wide. “Did you hear that sound!?”</p><p>Zuko couldn’t hold back his laugh and was thankful the roar of fire mostly covered the sound. “So, since it’s technically my fire, I control it.” He stepped back and sucked in a meditative breath until the flames shrunk to half their size.</p><p>“Make them big!” Sokka called happily. His eyes were lit up with pure joy.</p><p>Zuko definitely wanted to see more of that expression on Sokka’s face. He thought of his father — the betrayal and the anger — and he thought of Azula — her lies and deceit — and the flames climbed higher and higher until Zuko had to step back from the overwhelming heat. He opened his eyes and could see nothing but orange licks of flame. Still, he smiled because he could hear Sokka shouting with laughter.</p><p>Zuko quickly calmed himself and extinguished the flames.</p><p>“How do you get them to go out?” Sokka asked next, wonder in his voice.</p><p>Zuko stepped toward him as he thought. “It’s kind of like you’re pulling the fire back into yourself, if that makes sense.”</p><p>“Not at all.” Sokka grinned at him.</p><p>“Well,” Zuko said, “when you learned with your sword, what did Piandao tell you about the blade?”</p><p>“That it’s an extension of yourself,” Sokka said quickly.</p><p>“Benders have to think of our elements in the same way,” Zuko told him. “The fire is part of me. If I want to put the flames out, I just draw them back into myself.”</p><p>“Man, it’s times like this I really wish I could bend,” Sokka whined, slouching forward, and letting his arms dangle as they walked. “Why couldn’t I get cool element powers?”</p><p>Zuko felt guilty. He hated making Sokka feel lesser just because the boy couldn’t bend. “You didn’t get any because you don’t need them,” he said, sort of pressing his luck.</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not good enough to throw water at people, huh?” Sokka wondered as he crossed his arms, though he was mostly teasing.</p><p>Reaching over to grab his hands and haul him to a stop, Zuko found himself with the words he needed for once. “Your power is unconventional in this world, which is exactly why you were given it. Unconventional people require unconventional methods. And nothing screams badass more than kicking a bender’s ass with a boomerang and not breaking a sweat.”</p><p>“Yeah” —Sokka grinned— “I guess I am pretty awesome, aren’t I? I mean, have you ever even thrown a boomerang?”</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Zuko claimed with conviction. “I’ve never even held one,” he added, embarrassed. “Speaking of, did you ever find that?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Sokka reached behind him and pulled the boomerang from its holder. “It was stuck in a tree when we were looking for space sword.”</p><p>“Have you fixed that yet?” Zuko wondered next.</p><p>Sokka paused outside Zuko’s room, shaking his head. “I haven’t found the right time. And I’m still debating about the material for the guard and the hilt.”</p><p>As he opened the door, Zuko heaved a sigh and motioned Sokka inside with him. “I’m sorry it broke.”</p><p>“Well,” Sokka started with a shrug, “I’m not surprised.” He entered the room and stuffed his boomerang back into place, a little nervous. “It sucks, sure. But I did throw the thing out of a blimp that was pretty high off the ground.”</p><p>“How’s your leg?” Zuko suddenly asked.</p><p>“Oh, it’s fine,” Sokka responded easily. “A little stiff, but Katara’s magic water really works wonders.”</p><p>Zuko reached up and removed the pin from his hair, breathing a sigh of relief as the tension in his scalp dissipated slightly. Thankfully, he hadn’t had any episodes from the lightning today either. It was a blessing, and one that Zuko welcomed with open arms. “That’s good.”</p><p>“What about you?” Sokka asked softly. “How is your … thing?”</p><p>Zuko gave a soft hum and turned. He had to take a step back (when had Sokka come so close behind him, anyway?) and nearly stumbled against the little stool at his bureau. His face flushed but he ignored that and straightened. “Yeah — it’s — uh — it’s good today. I haven’t had any problems.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Sokka parroted.</p><p>Silence lapsed between them and the air was thick with either humiliation or something closer to desire. A charged moment passed — then two.</p><p>“Do you want to learn how to use the dao swords?” Zuko finally asked, voice choked with some unfamiliar feeling.</p><p>“Sure! And in exchange I can teach you how to throw a boomerang.” Sokka beamed at him. He hadn’t seemed to notice the awkward whatever that had surged between them.</p><p>———</p><p>“That was literally the worst throw I’ve ever seen in my life,” Sokka commented in that teasing lilt of his as Zuko retrieved the boomerang again.</p><p>Zuko clenched his teeth and glowered at the Water Tribe boy. “Maybe I just don’t have a good teacher,” he shot back, surprised at how easily his voice matched the taunting tone.</p><p>“Or maybe the student refuses the listen properly,” Sokka said back through a grin as he reached for the boomerang. “Let me show you one more time.”</p><p>Zuko clicked his tongue but handed over the weapon with a pout. “I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.”</p><p>“You’re throwing it too far to the side,” Sokka told him quickly. “It should be up here,” he added, demonstrating. “And when you release it, you need to snap your wrist harder, otherwise it won’t spin, and it won’t come back.” He handed it back to Zuko.</p><p>Zuko gripped the end between his thumb and forefinger, just like Sokka had shown him. He reached his arm back. And jumped suddenly when Sokka’s hand was on his arm. “What are you doing?” he asked, both aggressive and confused.</p><p>“You have to open your shoulder more, that’s why you aren’t getting the right throwing angle,” Sokka replied evenly. “Is it alright if I move you?”</p><p>“I — I guess,” Zuko muttered, voice uneasy.</p><p>Sokka planted one hand on Zuko’s chest and used his other to swivel Zuko’s upper body backwards. “More like that,” he said when he’d positioned him properly. “Now try it. Remember not to drop your elbow and use your whole body to throw.”</p><p>Zuko felt unsteady like this, but he swept his arm forward and back a few times to get used to the motion. And then he threw his body forward with enough momentum that he had to take a step for balance. He released the boomerang with (what he hoped was a good enough) snap of his wrist.</p><p>It went straight through the courtyard and then curved up, up, and up, and arched back down toward them.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me how to catch it,” Zuko suddenly realized as the weapon grew closer and closer.</p><p>“Just like a stick,” Sokka said. Even so, he stepped in front of Zuko, shifted himself a few steps to the right, and leapt into the air, catching the boomerang expertly.</p><p>“I think I’d end up cutting my hand off,” Zuko concluded when the force of it jerked Sokka’s hand back.</p><p>“You picked that up pretty fast, Zuko! How’d it feel to properly throw your first boomerang?” Sokka asked with excitement, surging toward Zuko with a huge smile on his face.</p><p>Zuko flushed. Sokka looked radiant like this, totally in his element, and Zuko felt a sudden urge to kiss that goofy smile right off his face.</p><p>“What’s that look for?” wondered Sokka, smile dropping into a look of consternation.</p><p>Zuko felt the flush spread quickly down to his chest and up to his ears. “I just — you — I think y-your smile is amazing,” he claimed.</p><p>Now it was Sokka’s turn to blush, and he jerked away from Zuko with a shy laugh. His boomerang was shoved back into place in a clumsy rush, just so he had something to do besides stare. “Th-thanks, Zuko. I like your smile too.”</p><p>“Firelord Zuko,” Daiko called, giving him a bow as he hurried through the courtyard. “Great Sage Shyu has been taken ill, so he must postpone the meeting this afternoon. I just received word only moments ago.”</p><p>Zuko offered the sage a bow in return, still blushing despite his best efforts to compose himself. “Thank you, Daiko. Please send him a letter offering me hopes for his recovery.”</p><p>“Certainly, Firelord Zuko,” Daiko agreed instantly. “I am sure he will greatly appreciate your words.”</p><p>Zuko patted Daiko on the shoulder, surprised when the man flinched and sunk to his knees in a rush.</p><p>“I apologize if I have offended you, Firelord Zuko! I meant no offense! I am sincerely—”</p><p>“Daiko, please,” Zuko chided softly, crouching closer to the ground. “Look at me,” he added gently.</p><p>Daiko raised his head, terror in his eyes as he followed the ‘order’ without question.</p><p>“I know my father was a cruel man, Daiko. He was capricious on his best days,” Zuko started. “But I want to insist to you that I am nothing like him. No harm will come to you from my hands. Do you understand that?”</p><p>Daiko’s eyes stretched wide. “Firelord Ozai was wonderful! He was so kind, and he never did anything wrong!”</p><p>“He did so many things wrong,” Sokka argued.</p><p>“Bite your tongue, boy!” Daiko spat. “Water Tribe words have no meaning here, and you’re blasphemous.”</p><p>“Nonsense, Daiko,” Zuko said. “Sokka is a dear friend, and he is right. My father was not a good ruler. I locked him in a cell for a reason. I just hope you will come to learn the truth for yourself. Until then, just know I will not ever raise a hand against you or anyone else. You can go now.”</p><p>Daiko stayed on the ground, waiting for Zuko to rise first.</p><p>“You can go now, Daiko,” Zuko repeated. He watched the warring emotions play in Daiko’s eyes until the sage finally stood. Zuko stared up at him and then suck to his knees and placed his head against the ground in the dogeza, to show his respect for the other man.</p><p>Much to his surprise, Sokka fell beside him and did the same thing.</p><p>Zuko could hear Daiko stuttering out something and he could hear people whispering at the edges of the courtyard. Probably wondering why the Firelord was bowing to a ‘lowly’ sage. But these men and women helped him through every day, and he wanted to show them that he was grateful for their presence. “I appreciate your time, Sage Daiko.”</p><p>Without a response, Daiko turned and fled.</p><p>Zuko straightened along with Sokka, frowning.</p><p>“Man, you’d think these guys would know Ozai was shitty,” Sokka whined, wiping his knees and brushing his hair from his eyes.</p><p>“They do,” said Zuko simply. “But anyone who believed that loud enough was executed publicly during his reign. They’re just fearful, Sokka. They’ll come to see the truth soon enough. I hope.”</p><p>Sokka wrapped an arm around Zuko’s shoulders and leaned into him. “If you keep it up with the dogeza, I think they’ll figure it out pretty fast. You should’ve seen how many people stopped and watched you do that.”</p><p>Still, Zuko frowned and shook his head. “It isn’t enough to just do that. My actions need to follow my words.”</p><p>“Well, they do,” Sokka assured him. “You’re a great guy! These lame sages just need a little extra time to figure that out.”</p><p>Zuko couldn’t help but chuckle and press himself further against Sokka’s side, feeling pretty accomplished for the day. “I want to try throwing it one more time.”</p><p>———</p><p>“My arm hurts,” Zuko complained as he trudged into his room.</p><p>Sokka shut the door behind them with a yawn. “Well, you threw the damn thing all day. Even though you said you’d only go one more time.”</p><p>“I just wanted to catch it once.” Zuko opened his palm and grimaced at the pain that shot through it. His skin was raw and red, but thankfully still intact and not torn.</p><p>“You’re gonna hurt really bad tomorrow. Just a warning,” said Sokka as he stretched his arms above his head. “Man, I’m exhausted and I didn’t even do anything today. I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you in the morning?”</p><p>“Stay,” Zuko called over his shoulder. He couldn’t force himself to turn around. What if Sokka’s face was full of disgust? He couldn’t bare to see the rejection that was surely coming.</p><p>“Like … the night?” Sokka wondered, his voice breaking.</p><p>Zuko nodded and said, “Yes. The night.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Zuko whirled around then, heart pounding with relief and fear. He was beyond nervous. He felt like he was about to spontaneously combust.</p><p>Sokka was already sitting on the bed, pulling his boots off with his eyes half closed.</p><p>Zuko snatched the robes he used to sleep in and an extra pair for Sokka. “Here. I’m going to change,” he said as he motioned to the partition.</p><p>“Thanks,” Sokka mumbled gratefully. He stood and turned around, setting the robes on the bed and undressing.</p><p>Zuko quickly skittered behind the partition with a shaky sigh. He changed in a rush and then waited until his heart stopped forcing itself into his throat to speak. “Sokka, are you dressed?”</p><p>“I’m stuck,” said Sokka indignantly.</p><p>“You’re joking.”</p><p>“I wish I was.” Sokka appeared at Zuko’s side with his tunic somehow tangled.</p><p>“Did you take off your boomerang thing before you tried to pull this off?” Zuko asked him as he stepped forward to help.</p><p>Sokka was silent.</p><p>“That’s a no,” Zuko muttered. “Stand up straight, first off. I can’t help if I can’t see where the hell the strap is.”</p><p>Sokka lifted himself to standing, his face covered by the cloth.</p><p>Zuko laughed. He couldn’t help himself. Sokka just looked adorable. “How did you even manage this?”</p><p>“It’s a special talent,” Sokka answered, the smile obvious in his tone.</p><p>Zuko reached for him and untangled the sleeve from the boomerang’s strap, hands quick and sure.  “This is seriously a talent,” he agreed softly as he struggled to figure out where to move next.</p><p>“Just yank the whole thing off,” Sokka ordered, wiggling in the tunic to find purchase.</p><p>“What? No way. It’s caught in your hair, you’ll end up pulling it out,” Zuko told him roughly.</p><p>Sokka went still again, a huge sigh leaving his mouth. “Man, what a hassle,” he muttered grumpily. Even so, he stayed mostly still while Zuko worked.</p><p>“Okay, I think you’re good now,” said Zuko as he unraveled the last of Sokka’s hair from the straps of the boomerang holder. He pulled the straps off and nodded. “Yeah, you’re good.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Sokka told him as he hurriedly threw the tunic off and wiped his face off on the fabric. “It was getting a little hot in there,” he added as he turned to grab the Fire Nation robes Zuko had handed him earlier. “You know, these things are surprisingly soft.”</p><p>Zuko swallowed his heart and willed his fingers to stop shaking. “Only the best fabric for us royalty, Sokka.” He emerged from behind the partition and went to his bureau, staring at his reflection in the mirror. “So Aang really never told you about the Blue Spirit?”</p><p>“Never heard of him,” Sokka said. “But Aang knows a lot of spirits. Maybe he just forgot to mention him.”</p><p>“No, the Blue Spirit was a person. Not an actual spirit,” Zuko corrected with a shake of his head. He pushed away from the mirror to face Sokka. “When Aang was captured by Zhao and—”</p><p>“Yeah, Aang already told us how you came in and saved him,” Sokka said, brushing off the words as he sat on the bed and stretched his arms out beside him. “Why did you do that, by the way?”</p><p>“Aang told you I saved him?” Zuko wondered. “When was this?”</p><p>“After you were all awkward trying to join us and I accused you of slathering yourself in honey to get Appa to lick you,” Sokka told him through a smile.</p><p>Zuko’s face fell. “Oh. I see,” he mumbled. Again, he turned back to the mirror and stared. “Look, I did come in and save him. And I’m the one who set the bison free.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that too. Toph told us.” Sokka nodded along to his words and sunk onto the bed with a sigh of relief. “Why are you telling me all this?”</p><p>“Because…” Zuko lashed his head and clenched his hands into fists in anger. “Because I didn’t just barge into Zhao’s place as myself. I would’ve been killed.”</p><p>Sokka stayed silent but nodded once. It made sense that Zuko would need a disguise.</p><p>“I was the Blue Spirit. The Blue Spirit saved Aang. I fought with these,” Zuko said, grabbing the dao swords from their place on his wall. “I’ve lost them before and they’re very dear to me. That’s why I got so angry when you only took one.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Sokka said gently, sitting back up to watch Zuko. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>“It’s okay, Sokka. I just — sometimes I get so angry about stupid things and I can’t seem to calm down,” Zuko admitted as he dropped his head. The dao swords stretched down, the tips almost touching the ground as he deflated. “I fear I may become my father. I allow my anger to control me as his did. And I’m worried that I’ll hurt the people I love.”</p><p>Sokka stood and came to stand beside Zuko. He reached out and set a hand on his shoulder with a kind smile. “You are nothing like your father, Zuko. Ozai didn’t just let his anger control him, he was his anger. He believed in those things with everything he was. But you? You’re different.”</p><p>Zuko lowered his head further, looking away from Sokka to keep his emotions in check. “I don’t know how to be any different than what I already am. I spent my entire life trying to impress a man that wanted nothing to do with me. And after my banishment, I became so obsessed with my honor that I nearly lost it for good.”</p><p>“Zuko, look,” Sokka started, “healing isn’t linear. People make mistakes. Even the Avatar messes up sometimes. Do you think Aang meant to disappear for a hundred years?”</p><p>“Of course not,” Zuko claimed instantly. “If Aang had known what was coming—”</p><p>“He would’ve done everything in his power to stop it,” Sokka agreed. “But he was a kid, you know? He made a mistake, but he isn’t to blame, is he?”</p><p>“I would’ve done the same thing,” said Zuko bitterly. “To expect so much from a child…” he stopped as his voice broke with emotion. Was he still talking about Aang?</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay,” Sokka assured him. “I would’ve done it too. I mean, I can’t imagine how powerless Aang felt. His people were peaceful, but they wanted him to fight?”</p><p>Zuko pulled away and turned to keep his tears hidden from sight.</p><p>“Zuko? Are you alright?” wondered Sokka with concern as he reached for him again. “I know it’s hard to imagine pitting a child against an adult, but you don’t have to be so upset for him.”</p><p>“I don’t have to imagine it,” Zuko choked out, his voice thick with emotion.</p><p>“What? What do you mean?”</p><p>Zuko whirled on him, scowling as the betrayal rocked him to his core. “I don’t have to imagine that because it happened to me! My own father — I was just a kid! Barely older than the Avatar. Why was I held accountable when he wasn’t? Why was I the problem?”</p><p>Sokka took a step away, his face full of confusion and horror. “I don’t understand what you mean, Zuko? Did I say something wrong?”</p><p>Zuko sobbed, shaking his head furiously, and let the dao swords drop from his hands and clatter to the floor.</p><p>Sokka suddenly felt tiny next to the emotions racing from Zuko. He bent to pick up the swords, moving slow and Zuko wouldn’t feel cornered. “What’s wrong, Zuko? Tell me how I can help you, please.” He fixed the swords back in place on the wall and stepped away once again.</p><p>“My father is the one that gave me this scar,” Zuko finally announced roughly, barely able to keep his voice loud enough to be heard. His body felt too hot, he was burning alive.</p><p>———</p><p>His father. Feral and aggressive as he descended on him, eyes hard and void of all emotion. There was no shame in his actions. There was no surprise or upset. He meant every second and Zuko could tell immediately but refused to believe it because this was his father — the man that had helped birth him, had helped raise him.</p><p>But the agony swept through him all the same and pierced into his very soul and scarred his perfect essence until nothing was left but a husk. A simple shell of fury and brokenness that Zuko would eventually use to hurt the people he cared about.</p><p>The hand that laid against his skin was cool but burned brighter than the sun so quickly Zuko could barely get enough air into his lungs to scream. But he somehow managed, the sound guttural even to his own ears. Foreign, unhinged, something that sounded akin to a wounded or dying animal rather than a human being — a child, no less.</p><p>And where was the pity from his people? Zuko was shunned. For nothing more than defending the very people that fought for his nation, for his father’s nation! </p><p>He was howling for someone, but he didn’t know who and he was sure the sound wasn’t even leaving his throat. It stuck in his windpipe and lodged into his mouth and clung to his teeth until all he could taste was metal and bile.</p><p>He couldn’t hear anything past his own pathetic retching. The floor of the Agni Kai chamber would need to be scrubbed. Why was that all he could focus on? </p><p>Something was suddenly on him and it burned worse than his father’s hands had. He jerked away from the touch and shrieked again, blackness swirling at the edge of his remaining vision.</p><p>Was he blind? He could barely see anything other than a bright flash rocketing through his brain and blurred lines as he pitched forward, limp.</p><p>———</p><p>“What?” Sokka reached for him but seemed to think better of it when he noticed how shaky Zuko suddenly was. “He did that to you? He blinded you!?"</p><p>Zuko hadn’t even realized he was describing the experience aloud. It was something he did when he was alone, as if remembering it would keep him from become something so vile — so monstrous. “My uncle — he took care of me. I was banished a few days later and sent to find the Avatar to restore my honor and return home.”</p><p>“But … why? I don’t understand what you did wrong,” Sokka claimed sharply, eyes narrowing to slits in his anger. “How could a father do that to his own child?”</p><p>“I spoke against him, Sokka! I disrespected him in front of the strongest generals we had! I’m sure your father would’ve punished you too,” Zuko snapped, rearing away from him, and pressing himself further into the corner.</p><p>Sokka stared at Zuko in disbelief. “My dad would never do something like that. He would’ve kicked me out of the meeting and given me a stern talking to, but he never would’ve scarred me for life! Where is he?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Ozai. Where are you keeping him? Where is his cell?” Sokka asked again, urgent.</p><p>Zuko shook his head and sunk to the ground, clasping tight to the front of his robes. “I don’t — the cell we took him to. He’s still there. Why?”</p><p>“I’ll be back,” Sokka claimed. He spun on his heel and marched out of the room, face hard.</p><p>“Sokka? Where are you going? What’s wrong?” Katara noticed him from her spot in the courtyard and rushed to him. “What did Zuko do? I’ll kick his ass,” she spat furiously as she turned to do just that.</p><p>“No!” Sokka yelled, latching onto her sleeve. “Don’t. It’s not him. Please just check on him. I think he’s having a panic attack.”</p><p>“Wait, Sokka, where are you going? You should be with him,” Katara pleaded as she returned the gesture to keep her brother there. She seemed to only just notice the Fire Nation robes he had on but ignored them and waited for her brother’s response. “What is going on? Sokka, please, you’re scaring me.”</p><p>“I have something I need to do right now. It can’t wait until morning, Katara,” Sokka shot back as he pulled away from her grasp. “Don’t try to stop me. Please, just — make sure Zuko stays in his room. Don’t let him come to Ozai’s cell.”</p><p>“Ozai?” Katara wondered. “Sokka, what are you doing!? Please, just talk to me!”</p><p>“I’ll explain later!” Sokka called over his shoulder as he took off.</p><p>Katara watched him go with fear in her eyes but didn’t try to follow after him. Instead, she turned and hurried to Zuko’s room as fast as she could. When she reached the door, it was still wide open. “Zuko? It’s Katara. Are you okay?”</p><p>Nothing but silence met her question.</p><p>Katara stepped inside and looked around, eyes wide. “Zuko? Sokka sent me to check on you. What’s going on?”</p><p>Again, there was no reply.</p><p>Katara clenched her fists. “If this is your idea of a joke, it isn’t funny,” she finally snapped, about to storm out of the room.</p><p>“Katara?”</p><p>“Zuko, is that you?” Katara wondered. Her heart pounded in her chest. She had never heard Zuko sound so timid before. Had the two boys been in a fight? “It’s me. It’s Katara,” she assured.</p><p>“I’m over here,” Zuko mumbled, raising his hand slightly so she could spot him on the other side of the bed.</p><p>Katara hurried forward and crouched next to him. “What is going on? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did Sokka do this to you? He said you might be having a panic attack, but if he did something …” Her voice filled with more and more anger with each question until she was nearly spewing at him. “I swear, that idiot—”</p><p>“No, it wasn’t him,” Zuko stopped her before she could get any further. He flinched slightly when she reached for him and he knew she noticed because her hand aborted its motion and went back to her side.</p><p>“Please, just tell me what’s happening. I’m a little scared,” Katara admitted. She shrunk back as Zuko pressed himself away from her touch. “Sokka told me to check on you and you’re crying and I’m so lost, Zuko. I don’t know what’s going on or who’s at fault. How can I help you if no one tells me what to do?”</p><p>Zuko swiped harshly at his tears. “I just … I had another episode.”</p><p>Katara nodded in understanding. “The lightening again?” she asked, more than a little glad that was all that was going on. “I can do another healing if you’ll let me. It should help you sleep through the night at least.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko said, “that would be nice. Thank you.”</p><p>Katara opened her waterskin and bent the water to encase her hands as Zuko opened his robes and let her work on the angry skin. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” she said suddenly. “I know I barged in kind of fast. I was just worried, and Sokka wouldn’t tell me what was going on.”</p><p>“Where did he go?” Zuko wondered, ignoring her apology because it wasn’t necessary.</p><p>Katara glanced up at him and frowned. “You don’t know?”</p><p>Zuko shook his head, body feeling more relaxed as Katara’s healing water cooled his heated skin.</p><p>“Well, I’m not exactly sure,” said Katara cautiously. “He said something about Ozai and then sent me here. He was talking so fast, I’m not really sure I actually understood where he was going,” she confessed.</p><p>Zuko stiffened and sat up, which caused Katara to jump and the water to fall from her hands into his lap. Zuko didn’t even seem to notice it.</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” she muttered as she quickly bent it back into her waterskin, looking more than a little putout. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“If he mentioned my father, then we need to stop him,” Zuko announced as he stood shakily to his feet and lurched toward the door.</p><p>Katara rushed to block him, pressing herself against the door and grabbing on to the handles. “No, you can’t!” she said. “He told me I couldn’t let you go down there.”</p><p>“What?” Zuko glared at her. “That’s ridiculous. Ozai is my father and I’m the Firelord. I can go where I want,” he told her.</p><p>Katara held her ground. “Absolutely not,” she ordered. “You are not allowed past this door until Sokka comes back. As your friend, it’s for your own good.”</p><p>“Katara, I’ll only tell you once to get out of my way,” Zuko growled.</p><p>“And as your friend, I won’t let you leave this room under any circumstances,” Katara shot back.</p><p>“If you don’t move,” Zuko spat, “I will force you to.”</p><p>“As if,” Katara goaded. “You’ve never beat me in a fight before. And I don’t want to hurt you,” she added, her voice softening.</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you either, Katara,” Zuko agreed. “But you leave me no choice.” He surged forward and swept her feet out from under her before she could open her waterskin.</p><p>Katara barely managed to catch herself. The waterskin flew open and she sent a swift stream of water at Zuko.</p><p>He easily dodged it and swept a fist down, the fire evaporating some of her water before she could pull it back to herself. “Your tricks won’t work on me anymore, Katara. I’ve seen you fight too many times to be fooled.”</p><p>“Well, unfortunately for you, I’ve been practicing something new,” Katara yelled as she spun. Her tunic whirled around her and half of the water she had flew at him in iced chunks.</p><p>Zuko easily dodged them.</p><p>Katara grinned and forced her palm out, fingers splayed. The ice shattered and she sent the fractals racing at Zuko from all sides. The air sung with the force of them.</p><p>Zuko looked suddenly frantic as he realized his predicament. His hands flew up to shield his face and he crouched close to the ground.</p><p>When a long moment passed and nothing happened, Zuko peeked past his arm to see Katara staring at him with regret shining in her eyes. Her hands had fallen, and her loose stance had dropped along with the water she had been controlling.</p><p>“Zuko, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to — I wasn’t thinking,” Katara stepped forward to him, but stopped when he fled from her. She bent and sat on the ground in front of the door, feeling awful. Sokka had told her Zuko was having a panic attack, and here she was nearly obliterating him. “I am sorry. But I just — I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m scared, Zuko. I’m worried about you and I’m worried about my brother.”</p><p>Zuko sunk to the ground, a little ways off from her and nodded. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have threatened you,” he told her with anguish in his voice. “I just hope Sokka doesn’t do something he’ll regret.”</p><p>“What made him want to go to Ozai anyway?” Katara wondered, eyes wide and innocent.</p><p>Zuko heaved a sigh and looked away from her, staring at a spot on the floor. “We were talking about my banishment,” he said, only hiding half the truth. “I guess whatever I said pissed him off and he wants my father to pay … I don’t know.”</p><p>Katara watched Zuko with a hint of suspicion but accepted his answer as she raised her arms to force the water that had spilled back into her waterskin. “Well, I guess that’s what happens when a shitty father gets his just desserts. Maybe I’ll pay him a visit later too. Just for fun.”</p><p>Zuko couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest at her words.</p><p>———</p><p>Sokka scowled down at Ozai, his clenched fist aching from where he’d punched the previous Firelord one too many times to get him away from the bars. “Don’t ever call him worthless. He’s already a better man than you could ever dream of being.”</p><p>Ozai just righted himself and gave Sokka a malicious grin. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for his pitiful nice guy routine, boy,” he barked cruelly. “Sooner or later, my useless son will reveal his true colors, and I will be proven right once again.”</p><p>“Zuko is nothing like you,” Sokka spat. He could almost feel Ozai’s honeyed words crawling up his legs and clinging to him like poison, bogging him down as if to keep him there forever.</p><p>“Zuko is exactly like me!” Ozai roared, lunging at the bars of his cell.</p><p>Sokka didn’t even flinch as Ozai latched onto the bars and bared his teeth at him like a rabid dog.</p><p>“He is my son, after all. It runs in his veins. You think he’s loveable? You’ll find out soon enough just how wasted your love for him is. As if a pillow biter like him could ever hope to be a better—”</p><p>“Shut your damn mouth,” Sokka ordered, voice like gravel in his throat. He felt sick to his stomach. He had never heard the slur said with such venom before. It stuck to his skin like water but refused to dry off. “You don’t know a thing about him. And as long as I’m around, you never will.”</p><p>Ozai cackled as Sokka turned and walked from the room. “You’ll see, Water Tribe! Zuko is nothing but a loose cannon just waiting to go off! He’ll destroy you and everyone you love!”</p><p>Sokka slammed the heavy door shut, tears in his eyes. “Zuko is nothing like you,” he repeated in a quiet whisper as he made his way through the hallways.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know what you think with a comment! Leave a kudos if you liked the story!</p><p>Thanks for the read, I really appreciate all of you guys!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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